The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Sample Response
The supplied illustration elucidates the water consumptions in seven different industries breaking down the figures for ground and public supply water. As is obvious, chemical industries use the largest portion of water while water consumption in fuel sector is the lowest. As is presented in the line graph, chemical, metal, paper, fuel and textile industries utilise more ground water than public supply water while food & beverage and machinery sectors do the opposite. The chemical industry is the largest consumer of both ground and supply water, 430 and 240 million cubic meters respectively. Metal industry, similarly, requires 330 cubic million water and 90 of it is supply water. Foods and drinks producers need 190 cubic million supply water and the rest of the industries do not use supply water that much. The lowest amount of water is required by the fuel industry while it is almost the same in textile sectors. Finally, machinery producers heavily rely on public supply water though they use only 10 cubic million ground water.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral overview marker Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: A neutral overview marker is more appropriate than claiming the pattern is obvious.
- 2. Use singular category Original: chemical industries Suggested revision: the chemical industry Why it matters: The chart contains one combined chemical-industry category.
- 3. Describe an amount Original: largest portion Suggested revision: greatest amount Why it matters: The bars show quantities of water rather than portions of a whole.
- 4. Add required article Original: in fuel sector Suggested revision: in the fuel industry Why it matters: The singular countable sector needs an article, and “industry” matches the chart categories.
- 5. Identify chart type Original: line graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: The visual uses horizontal bars rather than plotted lines.
- 6. Punctuate contrast clause Original: public supply water while Suggested revision: publicly supplied water, while Why it matters: A comma separates the two contrasting independent clauses.
- 7. Use formal category wording Original: food & beverage Suggested revision: food and drink Why it matters: Words are preferable to an ampersand in formal report prose and match the chart label.
- 8. State comparison explicitly Original: do the opposite Suggested revision: use more publicly supplied water than groundwater Why it matters: The explicit comparison avoids a vague reference to the preceding five industries.
- 9. Name both sources precisely Original: ground and supply water Suggested revision: groundwater and public-supply water Why it matters: The original wording abbreviates both source labels ambiguously.
- 10. Punctuate respectively phrase Original: cubic meters respectively Suggested revision: cubic metres, respectively Why it matters: A comma should precede the supplementary adverb “respectively.”
- 11. Clarify close total Original: while it is almost the same in textile sectors Suggested revision: and the total is only slightly higher in the textiles industry Why it matters: The original pronoun has no clear numerical antecedent and the industry label should be singular.
- 12. Fix pronoun agreement Original: though they use Suggested revision: though it uses Why it matters: The singular machinery category requires the pronoun “it.”
Suggested Rewrites
- As is obvious Overall
- chemical industries the chemical industry
- largest portion greatest amount
- in fuel sector in the fuel industry
- line graph bar chart
- public supply water while publicly supplied water, while
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a strong overview and accurately distinguishes the five industries that use more groundwater from the two that rely more on public supply. Most selected figures and comparisons are correct, with chemistry, metal, food and drink, fuel, textiles, and machinery all represented. The main priority is greater precision in units and phrasing, alongside one or two additional figures for the less-developed categories.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures the central patterns accurately and the selected data support them, though paper and several smaller categories receive limited numerical detail.
Add one precise comparison for paper, fuel, and textiles while retaining the accurate overall grouping of the two water sources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from overview to dominant users, exceptions, and the lowest industries, although the single paragraph reduces structural clarity.
Separate the overview and organise two detail paragraphs around groundwater-dominant industries and public-supply-dominant industries.
Lexical Resource
The response shows useful range, but awkward forms such as ‘water consumptions’ and ‘cubic million water’ reduce lexical precision.
Use consistent expressions such as ‘water consumption’, ‘million cubic metres’, ‘groundwater’, and ‘public water supply’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is used with generally clear control, despite occasional article, agreement, punctuation, and modifier-order errors.
Check noun-modifier order in measurement phrases and add missing articles before singular industry names.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.