The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Sample Response
The first table illustrates how the totalhow total population of New York City changed during a 200-year periodperoid from 1800 to 2000, while the second and third tables demonstrate changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Overall, New York experienced a significant increase in population from 1800 to 2000, whereas the distribution
In terms ofIn the term of total population, the figure was only 79,216 in 1800, then it burstbursted to 3,437,202 in 1900, before surging to 8,009,185 at the end of the peroid. The total population consisted of residents in five differentdifferents districtscities, population of other districts besides Manhattan dramaticallydramaticly increased from 18,701 in 1800 to 1,587,109 in 1900, ending with 6,471,089 in 2000. However, the population of Manhattan declined to 1,538,096 in 2000, after the population bursting from 60, 515 in 1800 to 1,850,0931.850,093 in 1900.
FromFor the perspective of populationpopulaiton distribution, at the beginning of the peroid, the majority of people, with 76% of the total, lived in Manhattan. After a 100-year period of growth100-year peroid development, though its population increased rapidly, the proportion of total population declined to 54% in 1900, before dropping to 19% at the end of the peroid. Whereas, the otherWhereas，other four districts together constitutedconsituted a larger and larger percentage of total people.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully presents most key statistics from the tables and highlights the shift in population between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the report is limited by an unfinished overview sentence that leaves the overall summary incomplete, alongside frequent mechanical and spelling errors. Completing the overview statement and proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors should be the top priorities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key data trends and numerical details are selected accurately, but the overview paragraph cuts off mid-sentence.
Ensure the overview sentence is fully completed to provide a clear, overarching summary of the key trends before detailing specific figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The body paragraphs are organized by category, though the incomplete sentence and awkward cohesive phrases disrupt the natural progression.
Use standard transitional expressions like 'In terms of' or 'From the perspective of' and check that every sentence is grammatically complete.
Lexical Resource
An adequate range of vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling mistakes and improper word forms occur throughout.
Review spelling for common words such as 'period' and 'population', and avoid non-standard verb forms like 'bursted'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but run-on sentences, missing words, and punctuation errors are noticeable.
Break long, comma-spliced clauses into distinct sentences and ensure numerical punctuation uses standard commas rather than full stops.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Your response
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