The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
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Sample Response
The first table illustrates the increase in population in New York City, including all five districts, between the years 1800 and 2000. The second table highlights not only the exact number but also the percentage of the total population of Manhattan in the same period of time. Meanwhile, the third table presents corresponding data for the other four districts: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island.
To begin, the total populationnumber of populations in all districts of New York City reported a significant rise from 79,216 in 1800 to 3,437,202 in 1900. Over the subsequent century, from 1900 to 2000,, , the population doubled, reaching an overall 8,009,185.
Regarding Manhattan, its population stood at 60,515 in 1800, accounting for 76% of the city's total population. In 1900, asIn 1900 as the number of residentsnumber of the residents started to increase, reaching 1,850,093, the total percentage showed a rapid decrease from 76% to 54%. In addition, by 2000, the population of Manhattan demonstrated a considerable drop both in the population, from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096, and the percentage, from 54% to 19%.
Lastly, other districts of New York City recorded a sharp rise in population in just three recorded intervals, starting from 18,701 in 1800, which was 24% of the total population. In 1900, theIn 1900 the number and the percentage escalated, reaching approximately a million and a half residents, which was nearly half of the total population in New York City. In addition, by the end of the 20th century, the population of the four other districtspopulation of four other districts of New York City exceeded 6 million citizens, which was 81% of the total population of the city.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report effectively presents data from all three tables with precise figure reporting and logical paragraph structure by region. However, the response lacks a clear overview paragraph highlighting the main trends, such as Manhattan's shift from dominant to minority status while other districts expanded. Synthesizing key overall trends before describing specific figures will significantly enhance the clarity and impact of the report.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key details and figures from all tables are accurately mentioned, but the report lacks a clear, dedicated overview summarizing the overall patterns.
Include a prominent overview statement highlighting major overarching trends, such as the shift in dominant population shares between Manhattan and the outer districts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall layout follows a logical paragraph structure, though transition markers between sentences are somewhat predictable and repetitive.
Vary linking words and ensure smooth paragraph transitions to connect related observations more naturally.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good range of descriptive vocabulary, though occasional word choice inaccuracies appear.
Refine collocations related to statistical descriptions, avoiding unnatural phrases like the number of populations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence forms are attempted with generally clear meaning, despite occasional punctuation slips and grammatical inaccuracies.
Proofread carefully to eliminate typographical errors, such as double commas, and ensure correct clause punctuation.