The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
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Sample Response
The first table illustrates the increase in population in New York City, including all five districts, between the years 1800 and 2000. The second table highlights not only the exact number but also the percentage of the total population of Manhattan in the same period of time. Meanwhile, the third table presents corresponding data for the other four districts: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island.
To begin, total population in all districts of New York City sawreported a significant rise from 79,216 in 1800 to 3,437,202 in 1900. Over the subsequent century, from 1900 to 2000, the2000, , the population doubled, reaching an overall total of 8,009,185reaching an overall 8,009,185.
Regarding Manhattan, its population stood at 60,515 in 1800, accounting for 76% of the city's total population. In 1900, as the number of residentsthe number of the residents started to increase, reaching 1,850,093, the total percentage showed a rapid decrease from 76% to 54%. In addition, by 2000, the population of Manhattan experienced a noticeable declinedemonstrated a considerable drop both in the population, from 1,850,093 to 1,538,096, and the percentage, from 54% to 19%.
Lastly, the otherLastly, other districts of New York City recorded a sharp rise in population in just three recorded intervals, starting from 18,701 in 1800, which was 24% of the total population. In 1900, theIn 1900 the number and the percentage escalated, reaching approximately a million and a half residents, which was nearly half of the total population in New York City. In addition, by the end of the 20th century, the population of the four other districts of New York City exceeded 6 million citizens, which was 81% of the total population of the city.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The candidate demonstrates a clear understanding of the data, reporting accurate key figures and comparative trends across all three tables effectively. Structure and paragraphing are well-organised, supported by a varied vocabulary and generally accurate sentence construction. However, the essay lacks a clear, explicit overview paragraph summarising the overall trends before detailing specific numbers. To reach a higher score, include a prominent overall summary in the introduction or conclusion that highlights the main visual trends without raw figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately reports key figures and trends for each table, but lacks a clear, dedicated overall summary statement.
Include a clear overview paragraph that synthesizes the key trends, such as the total growth alongside Manhattan's declining share compared to other districts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically structured into distinct paragraphs with clear progression across sections.
Vary transition signals beyond basic connectors like 'In addition' to enhance the natural flow between comparison points.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used flexibly to describe upward and downward changes.
Incorporate a wider variety of precise reporting verbs and noun phrases to avoid repeating phrasing like 'total population'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show good variety and control, with complex sentences constructed accurately overall.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor punctuation mistakes such as double commas and unnecessary pause markers.