The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
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Sample Response
The provided line graph presents specific information regarding the number of shops that closedare closed and newly opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is evident that both shop openings and closures experienced significant fluctuations over the given period. Notably, while the number of new shops generally declined, the number of closuresclosure rate witnessed a dramatic plunge in 2015 before recovering to a relatively stable level.
Looking first at shop openings, the figure began at its highest point of approximately 8,500 in 2011. However, this number experienced a sharp and steepcontinuous decline over the following year, dropping to around 4,000 in 2012. Although it bounced back to roughly 6,500 by 2014, the number of openings fell significantly to 4,000 in 2015 and remained around 4,000 before rising slightly to just over 4,000 in 2017remained relatively flat at this level until 2017, before finally dropping to roughly 3,000 in 2018.
Turning to shop closures, the trend was much more erratic. The number started at approximately 6,500 in 2011 and fluctuated slightly between 6,000 and 7,000 until 2014. Strikingly, in 2015, the number of closures plummeted to a mere 500. Following this dramatic low, the figure rebounded sharply to just over 5,000 in 2016, after which it leveled off, maintaining a steady levelrate of around 5,000 to 5,200 until the end of the period.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response provides an accurate and comprehensive description of the graph, highlighting key data points and main trends with exceptional clarity. To enhance the report further, integrate more direct comparisons between shop openings and closures in the detail paragraphs rather than treating them sequentially. Paying attention to precise tense usage in the introductory sentence will also refine overall accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear overview of overall trends and reports key figures accurately throughout the 2011–2018 timeline.
Incorporate direct comparisons between the two trends within the body paragraphs to highlight specific intersections.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated body paragraphs with smooth transition markers between ideas.
Vary cohesive phrases slightly to avoid relying heavily on standard sentence-starter transition words.
Lexical Resource
A rich and precise range of trend vocabulary is used effectively to describe changes and fluctuations.
Continue employing natural lexical combinations while ensuring exact word forms fit the surrounding sentence context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical structures are varied and consistently accurate, with clear sentence construction throughout.
Ensure consistency in time frames by avoiding present-tense phrasing when introducing past survey data.