The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Same questionCompare 8 different answers (Band 6–8)

Sample Response

1

Delete两图分别是作文题和我找https://ieltswritingchecker.org/批改的分数和评价,我写的:The line graph illustrates the changes in numbers of closed shops and newly-opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.

2

It is noticeable that both closures and openings experienced an overall decline throughout the period, while closures had a much smaller final drop compared with the initial number. While the figure for openings was substantiallylargely higher than that of closures in the beginning, it was soon overtaken in 2012.

3

In 2011, around 8500 new shops opened, while the figure for closed shops stayedstaying much lower at 6400. However, the number of openings was overtaken between 2011 and 2012 after a drastic fall to slightly less than 4000 in 2012 in openings, while only a moderate slide happened to that of closures to about 6000. Since then, openings continued increasing steadily for two years to around 6100 in 2014, while the figure for closures climbed to approximately 7100 in 2013 and then slid back to a little higher than its initial leveloriginal place one year later.

4

Soon afterwards, a steepsteer fall brought closures to the bottom of roughly 600bottom roughly 600 in 2015, yet the figure for openings underwent a milder decrease to 4000. After bouncing back to around 5100 in 2016, the number of closures stayed relatively stable until 2018stayed stable to 2018 with minor fluctuations. Meanwhile, openings saw a moderate gradual increase by about 100 shops from 2015 to 2017, before dipping to 3000 in 2018.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The report provides a clear overview and effectively covers key trends and details from the line graph across the entire time period. The main limitations are occasional word choice errors and minor grammatical inconsistencies, such as improper clause integration and typo-like vocabulary choices. The top priority is ensuring precision in word selection and refining complex sentence structures for complete accuracy.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

The main trends, key comparisons, and major data points are clearly presented with a sound overview.

Next step

Ensure all minor data reporting matches precise graph values without over-generalizing minor fluctuations.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information is logically organized chronologically into distinct paragraphs with clear progression.

Next step

Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid overusing repetitive temporal transition phrases at the start of paragraphs.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

A good variety of trend vocabulary is used, though occasional word errors like 'steer fall' affect precision.

Next step

Proofread carefully to eliminate spelling typos and ensure collocations fit formal report writing standards.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A mix of complex sentences is attempted, but grammatical slip-ups like dangling participles and preposition misuse occur.

Next step

Check participle clauses to ensure they attach correctly to full main clauses rather than creating sentence fragments.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Your response

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