The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the changes in the numberchanges in numbers of closed shops and newly openednewly-opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.
It is noticeable that both closures and openings experienced an overall decline throughout the period, while closures had a much smaller final drop compared with the initial number. While the figure for openings was substantiallylargely higher than that of closures in the beginning, it was soon overtaken in 2012.
In 2011, around 8500 new shops opened, while the figure for closed shops stayedstaying much lower at 6400. However, the number of openings was overtaken between 2011 and 2012 after a drastic fall to slightly less than 4000 in 20122013 in openings, while closures experienced only a moderate slideonly a moderate slide happened to that of closures to about 6000. Since then, openings continued increasing steadily for two years to around 6100 in 2014, while the figure for closures slid to just under 6000 in 2012 before climbing to around 7200 in 2013climbed to approximately 7100 in 2012 and then slid back to slightly higher than its initial leveloriginal place one year later.
Soon afterwards, a steepsteer fall brought closures to the bottom of roughly 600bottom roughly 600 in 2015, while shop openings sawyet the figure for openings underwent a milder decrease to 4000. After bouncing back to around 5100 in 2016, the number of closures remained relatively stable until 2018stayed stable to 2018 with minor fluctuations. Meanwhile, openings saw a slightmoderate gradual increase of approximately 200 shops from 2015 to 2017 (reaching around 4,200)increase by about 100 shops from 2015 to 2017, before dipping to 3,000 in 2018dipping to 3000 in 2018.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively provides a clear overview and covers the key trends and comparative data points across the period. Progression is logical with appropriate paragraphing, though occasional minor language errors and a slight mix-up in year reporting appear in the detail paragraphs. To improve, double-check dates against figures carefully and refine sentence mechanics to eliminate small grammatical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear overview of the main trends and accurately reports most significant data points and key changes.
Ensure all specific years associated with specific data points match the visual prompt precisely to avoid minor chronological discrepancies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized chronologically across distinct paragraphs with clear overall progression.
Vary cohesive markers slightly more to avoid over-relying on standard contrast conjunctions like 'while'.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary is deployed flexibly, with only minor word choice slips.
Proofread carefully to eliminate occasional typos or unnatural phrase choices, such as using 'steep fall' instead of 'steer fall'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex grammatical structures is used, though a few participle and prepositions errors are noticeable.
Ensure subordinate clause structures retain proper finite verb forms rather than dangling participles.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.