The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of closed shopschanges in numbers of closed shops and newly openednewly-opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.
It is noticeable that both closures and openings experienced an overall decline throughout the period, while closures had a much smaller final drop compared with the initial number. While the figure for openings was significantlylargely higher than that of closures in the beginning, it was soon overtaken in 2012.
In 2011, around 8500 new shops opened, while the figure for closed shops stayed much lower at 6400. However, the number of openings was overtaken between 2011 and 2012 after a drastic fall to slightly less than 4000 in 2012in 2012 in openings, while only a moderate slide was recorded in closureshappened to that of closures to about 6000. Since then, openings continued increasing steadily for two years to around 6100 in 2014, while the figure for closures climbed to approximately 7100 in 2013 and then slid back to a little higher than its starting leveloriginal place one year later.
Soon afterwards, a steep fall brought closures to a low of roughly 600the bottom roughly 600 in 2015, yet the figure for openings underwent a milder decrease to 4000. After bouncing back to around 5100 in 2016, the number of closures stayed stable untilto 2018 with minor fluctuations. Meanwhile, openings saw a moderate gradual increase by about 200 shops from 2015 to 2017, before dipping to 3000 in 2018.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, well-structured description of the data with smooth chronological organization and accurate comparison of key trends. Vocabulary and grammatical structures are varied and natural throughout the response. To raise the writing further, refine data reporting precision in the overview and ensure prepositions tracking fluctuations are consistently accurate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies all key features and overall trends effectively, supported by accurate figures across most years.
Ensure overview claims about overall net changes precisely match the chart data to maintain complete reporting accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced chronologically, with smooth paragraphing and clear transition signals between time periods.
Maintain the current cohesive structure while ensuring smooth linking phrases remain varied in longer descriptions.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary for describing trends and comparisons is used flexibly and appropriately.
Continue employing precise collocation choices when detailing minor fluctuations and steady trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad variety of complex sentence structures is controlled well with very few minor errors.
Pay close attention to prepositions following verbs of change to ensure precise statistical relationships.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.