The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of shop closureschanges in numbers of closed shops and newly-opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.
It is noticeable that both closures and openings experienced an overall decline throughout the period, while closures had a much smaller final drop compared with the initial number. While the figure for openings was significantlylargely higher than that of closures in the beginning, it was soon overtaken in 2012.
In 2011, around 8,5008500 new shops opened, while the figure for closed shops stayed much lower at 6400. However, the number of openings was overtaken between 2011 and 2012 after a drastic fall to slightly less than 4000 in 2012 in openings, while only a moderate slide happened to that of closures to about 6000. Since then, openings continued increasing steadily for two years to around 6100 in 2014, while the figure for closures climbed to approximately 7100 in 2013 and then slid back to roughly 6,500slid back to a little higher than its original place one year later.
Soon afterwards, a steep fall brought closures to a low of roughly 600to the bottom roughly 600 in 2015, yet the figure for openings underwent a milder decrease to 4000. After bouncing back to around 5100 in 2016, the number of closures remained relatively stable until 2018stayed stable to 2018 with minor fluctuations. Meanwhile, openings saw a moderate gradual increase by approximately 200 shops from 2015 to 2017increase by about 100 shops from 2015 to 2017, before dipping to 3000 in 2018.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear overview and effectively details the trends in shop openings and closures using accurate key data from the chart. Its primary strength lies in its logical paragraphing and varied vocabulary describing numerical movements. To improve further, ensure minor grammatical preposition choices are polished and double-check exact data reporting to eliminate slight inaccuracies.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overall trend and covers major data points, though there are minor inaccuracies in reporting specific intermediate figures.
Verify all specific figure descriptions against the visual data to avoid minor reporting inaccuracies, such as precision regarding ending values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized chronologically with clear paragraph structures and seamless transitions throughout.
Maintain this high standard of logical sequencing while varying transition phrases slightly to maintain a natural flow.
Lexical Resource
A wide variety of trend vocabulary is used accurately and flexibly to describe fluctuations and key features.
Focus on precise collocation choices when combining lexical terms with prepositions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structures is produced with strong overall grammatical control, despite occasional minor preposition errors.
Refine complex grammatical patterns involving prepositions, such as prepositional phrases introducing numerical figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.