The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the changes in the numberchanges in numbers of closed shops and newly-opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.
It is noticeable that both closures and openings experienced an overall decline throughout the period, while closures had a much smaller final drop compared with the initial number. While the figure for openings was largely higher than that of closures in the beginning, it was soon overtaken in 2012.
In 2011, around 8500 new shops opened, while the figure for closed shops stayedstaying much lower at 6400. However, the number of openings was overtaken between 2011 and 2012 after a drastic fall to slightly less than 4000 in 2012 in openings, while only a moderate slide happened to that of closures to about 6000. Since then, openings continued increasing steadily for two years to around 6100 in 2014, while the figure for closures climbed to approximately 7100 in 2013 and then slid back to a little higher than its original levelplace one year later.
Soon afterwards, a steepsteer fall brought closures to a low of roughly 600to the bottom roughly 600 in 2015, yet the figure for openings underwent a milder decrease to 4000. After bouncing back to around 5100 in 2016, the number of closures remained relatively stable until 2018 with minor fluctuations.stayed stable to 2018 with minor fluctuations. Meanwhile, openings saw a gradualmoderate gradual increase by about 100 shops from 2015 to 2017, before dipping to 3000 in 2018.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a thorough overview and detailed comparison of the key data points across the entire timeframe. Progression is logical and supported by a diverse vocabulary for describing trends. To reach a higher standard, grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly regarding clause structures and prepositional phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response clearly highlights the overall trends and covers all key features with accurate supporting figures.
Ensure all data comparisons remain precise throughout, double-checking minor details like axis values and year spans.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into distinct chronological sections with clear transitions between paragraphs.
Vary cohesive linkers and avoid repetitive phrasing when introducing contrasting data points.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of lexical items for trends and changes is used effectively to describe fluctuations.
Eliminate typographical errors in word choice, such as using 'steer' instead of 'steep'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, though several grammatical errors and awkward participle constructions occur.
Focus on improving sentence grammar, particularly participle clauses and preposition placement in complex sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.