The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Sample Response
The supplied pie charts compare the annual spending made by a school in the UK for three respective years which are 1981, 1991, and 2001. Overall, the salaries for teachers remained the highest portion in spending while insurance was the least expenses over the 20-year time frame. Based on the pie charts, aforementioned, teachers’ salaries constituted the highest percentages of the school cost which were 40%, 50%, and 45% for 1981, 1991, and 2001 chronologically. The expenses on resources such as books followed the trend of teachers’ salaries, went up in 1991 and dropped in 2001. In 2001, this expenditure stood at 9%. As for the other workers’ salary which was 28% in 1998, showed a dramatic drop to 15% in 2001. It is interesting to note that the percentage of furniture and equipment in 2001 overtook the percentage of other workers’ salaries and it showed a significant rise in 2001 even though it experienced a slight drop in 1991. This cost was 5% in 1991 and 23% in 2001. On the other hand, insurance accounted for the minimum percentage of expenditure over the time frame with 2% in 1991 and 8% in 2001.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: spending made by a school Suggested revision: expenditure of a school Why it matters: Expenditure is incurred by the school, so this phrasing is more natural and precise.
- 2. Simplify year phrase Original: three respective years which are Suggested revision: the years Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase avoids an unnecessary relative clause.
- 3. Use concise possessive Original: salaries for teachers Suggested revision: teachers’ salaries Why it matters: The possessive form is the more concise expression for this spending category.
- 4. Describe proportions precisely Original: highest portion in spending Suggested revision: largest share of spending Why it matters: Largest share is the appropriate expression for the biggest proportion of a total.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: the least expenses Suggested revision: the smallest expense Why it matters: The singular subject needs a singular complement, and smallest is used for a countable share.
- 6. Use concise time phrase Original: over the 20-year time frame Suggested revision: throughout the 20-year period Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to describe the full interval.
- 7. Name spending category Original: the percentage of furniture and equipment Suggested revision: spending on furniture and equipment Why it matters: The chart measures spending on the category rather than a percentage of the objects themselves.
- 8. Clarify comparison Original: overtook the percentage of other workers’ salaries Suggested revision: exceeded the share spent on other workers’ salaries Why it matters: This wording clearly compares the two expenditure shares.
- 9. Use direct trend verb Original: it showed a significant rise in 2001 Suggested revision: it rose significantly in 2001 Why it matters: A direct verb describes the change more concisely.
- 10. Show sequence accurately Original: even though Suggested revision: after Why it matters: The relationship is chronological rather than concessive because the rise followed the earlier fall.
- 11. Use direct wording Original: experienced a slight drop Suggested revision: fell slightly Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the same trend more concisely.
- 12. Refer to proportion Original: cost Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: Figure accurately refers to the percentages reported in the charts.
Suggested Rewrites
- spending made by a school expenditure of a school
- three respective years which are the years
- salaries for teachers teachers’ salaries
- highest portion in spending largest share of spending
- the least expenses the smallest expense
- over the 20-year time frame throughout the 20-year period
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overview and covers all five spending categories, with generally accurate reporting of the most important changes. Its main weakness is precision: two years are misreported, some supporting figures are omitted, and several comparisons are expressed awkwardly. The highest-priority improvement is to check every date and percentage against the charts, then organise the details into clearer comparative groups.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the largest and smallest categories, and all categories are covered, but the response misstates two years and omits several useful figures.
Verify every year and value against the charts and support each major trend with accurate beginning, middle, and ending data where relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses from the overview through the spending categories, but the single-block presentation and some loosely connected clauses weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs and use explicit comparisons to connect related categories.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range for describing proportions and change, although several collocations and references are imprecise or unnatural.
Use more natural combinations such as 'accounted for the largest share' and choose precise category labels consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but faulty clause construction, agreement, and punctuation recur.
Check that each comparison has a complete subject and finite verb, especially in sentences beginning with phrases such as 'As for'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.