The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the expenditure of a school in the United Kingdom in three different years - 1981, 1991 and 2001, with a gap of a decade. It is clear from the pie charts that teachers’ salaries accounted for the highest percentage of the school’s expenses in all three years. By contrast, insurance was the smallest cost in each year. Now turning to the details, In 1981, 40% of the school’s budget went on teachers’ salaries. This figure rose to exactly the half of the total expense in 1991, before dropping back by 5% in 2001. The proportion of expenditure on other workers’ wages was considerably lower than that of teachers' salaries and it fell steadily over the 20-year period, from 28% of the budget in 1981 to 15% in 2001. Expenditure on insurance stood at only 2% of the total in 1981, being the lowest percentage of expense for the school, but rose to 8% in 2001. The expense percentages for resources and furniture/equipment of the school fluctuated. The cost ratio for resources was the highest in 1991, one-fifth of the total cost to be precise, and the percentage of spending on furniture and equipment reached its peak in 2001, at 23%.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify time intervals Original: with a gap of a decade Suggested revision: at ten-year intervals Why it matters: This phrase expresses the spacing between the three years more directly.
- 2. Remove mechanical transition Original: Now turning to the details, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The shift to detailed figures is already clear without this conversational signpost.
- 3. Remove incorrect article Original: exactly the half Suggested revision: exactly half Why it matters: Half does not take the definite article in this percentage construction.
- 4. Use precise term Original: expense Suggested revision: expenditure Why it matters: Expenditure is the more natural term for the school budget as a whole.
- 5. Use percentage points Original: dropping back by 5% Suggested revision: dropping by 5 percentage points Why it matters: A fall from 50% to 45% is five percentage points, rather than five percent.
- 6. Improve spending phrase Original: The expense percentages for resources and furniture/equipment of the school Suggested revision: The proportions spent on resources and furniture/equipment Why it matters: This phrasing expresses shares of school expenditure clearly and naturally.
- 7. Use chart terminology Original: The cost ratio for resources Suggested revision: The proportion spent on resources Why it matters: Proportion spent accurately names the percentage shown in the chart.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Expenditure on insurance stood at only 2% of the total in 1981, being the lowest percentage of expense for the school, but rose to 8% in 2001. Suggested revision: Expenditure on insurance was the smallest category, rising from 2% in 1981 to 3% in 1991 and then to 8% in 2001. Why it matters: The rewrite includes the omitted 1991 figure and presents the full upward trend concisely.
- 9. Complete category trends Suggested revision: Add the direction and endpoints for both remaining categories: resources rose from 15% to 20% before falling to 9%, while furniture/equipment fell from 15% to 5% before rising to 23%. Why it matters: Reporting only the peak years leaves the contrasting fluctuations incompletely described.
Suggested Rewrites
- with a gap of a decade at ten-year intervals
- Now turning to the details, Delete
- exactly the half exactly half
- expense expenditure
- dropping back by 5% dropping by 5 percentage points
- The expense percentages for resources and furniture/equipment of the school The proportions spent on resources and furniture/equipment
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents an accurate overview and selects the principal spending changes with well-controlled sentence structures and generally precise vocabulary. The main limitation is that the two fluctuating categories are described mainly through their peak years, so their full changes across the three charts remain underdeveloped, while some expressions are awkward. Prioritise a compact comparison of all three values for resources and furniture/equipment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and reported figures are accurate and cover the dominant and smallest categories, though the fluctuations in resources and furniture/equipment are only partly developed.
State all three values for resources and furniture/equipment to show their opposing changes clearly and completely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from overview to detailed trends with effective referencing and linking, but the response is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use a distinct overview paragraph and group related categories into separate detail paragraphs for clearer progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although phrases such as 'exactly the half', 'expense percentages' and 'cost ratio' are awkward.
Prefer natural Task 1 collocations such as 'exactly half', 'the proportion spent on' and 'the figure for'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only isolated slips in articles and capitalisation.
Refine small points such as 'exactly half' and lower-case 'in' after the introductory comma.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.