The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given graph compares the average time spend on unpaid works per week by married men and married women having a different number of children. This nonpaid works mostly involve activities and tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of children, housework, and gardening. Now turning back to the details, women without children spend 30 hours per week on unpaid activities, while men, from this category, do around 18 hours unpaid tasks in seven days. It is noticeable that with the increasing number of children the unpaid working hours for women increase significantly while it remains almost the same for men. This difference between the duration of nonpaid household works done by men and women largely rises with the number of offsprings. Women do about 52 and 58 hours of unpaid activities respectively per week, while, men do fewer hours, approximately 18 and 16 hours a week. In conclusion, it is clear that women dedicate far time on unpaid work than men. In addition, the higher the number of offsprings, bigger the amount of work for women. However, it does not influence the average hours of men. In fact, it drops a little, as the number of children increases.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past participle Original: spend Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: The reduced passive phrase requires the past participle “spent.”
- 2. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: “Work” is uncountable when referring generally to unpaid activity.
- 3. Express groups concisely Original: having a different number of children Suggested revision: with different numbers of children Why it matters: The plural “numbers” matches the several family-size categories.
- 4. Fix agreement and form Original: This nonpaid works Suggested revision: This unpaid work Why it matters: The demonstrative and verb require the singular uncountable noun “work.”
- 5. Remove repetition Original: activities and tasks like Suggested revision: activities such as Why it matters: “Activities” and “tasks” are redundant in this list introduction.
- 6. Use accurate transition Original: Now turning back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: “Back” is illogical because detailed figures have not yet been discussed.
- 7. Remove disruptive commas Original: men, from this category, do Suggested revision: men in this category do Why it matters: The commas wrongly separate an essential modifying phrase from the clause.
- 8. Use the chart period Original: in seven days Suggested revision: per week Why it matters: The chart presents weekly totals, so this wording is more direct and consistent.
- 9. Use precise noun phrase Original: the unpaid working hours for women Suggested revision: women's hours of unpaid work Why it matters: This phrase accurately describes time spent on unpaid work.
- 10. Fix pronoun agreement Original: while it remains Suggested revision: while they remain Why it matters: The pronoun refers to the plural noun “hours.”
- 11. Use uncountable form Original: nonpaid household works Suggested revision: unpaid household work Why it matters: “Work” is uncountable in this general sense, and “unpaid” is the standard form.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: largely rises Suggested revision: increases substantially Why it matters: “Increases substantially” is the natural academic collocation for a widening difference.
Suggested Rewrites
- spend spent
- works work
- having a different number of children with different numbers of children
- This nonpaid works This unpaid work
- activities and tasks like activities such as
- Now turning back to the details Turning to the details
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the central gender contrast and the opposing patterns as family size rises, supported by figures for all three categories. Its main limitation is that it gives no reasons despite the task explicitly requesting them, and several grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. Add concise, plausible explanations for the patterns, then edit noun forms, comparisons, and verb structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key trends and category comparisons are clearly identified, but some figures are imprecise and the required reasons for the patterns are entirely omitted.
Add plausible reasons for the gender difference and check the final values against the chart, especially roughly 60 hours for women and 18 for men.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly from the chart description through comparisons to a concluding overview, but the single paragraph weakens structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group the detailed comparisons into a separate body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the main comparisons, but recurring inaccurate forms and collocations such as unpaid works, offsprings, and dedicate far time limit precision.
Use natural forms such as unpaid work, children, and spend considerably more time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and comparative constructions reduce accuracy.
Proofread each comparison for correct forms, such as time spent, this unpaid work involves, and the greater the amount of work.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.