The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the hours of non-paid jobs done by male and female with different numbers of children in an average week. As is observed from the graphs, women worked significantly more hours than men for the household works like child caring, gardening etc. Also, the number of hourly works done as unpaid works got higher with the increase of child number. As is presented in the line graph, married women work around 30 hours per week for household unpaid works while the men from the same category work for only 18 hours. The works done by females with 1-2 children per week is more than 50 hours and with 3 plus children, the work done by females is 60 hours. Interestingly, the volume of unpaid jobs done by males does not change with the number of offsprings they have except for the men with more than three kids who works even less unpaid household works. In conclusion, we can say that the volume of unpaid works like household works and child caring increases for women with the increase of their children's number but for men, this remains the same. And female works significantly more hours for that type of household works than the men do.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name chart correctly Original: The given line graph Suggested revision: The given bar chart Why it matters: The visual uses grouped bars rather than lines.
- 2. Use task terminology Original: non-paid jobs Suggested revision: unpaid work Why it matters: "Unpaid work" is the accurate uncountable term used by the task.
- 3. Use plural nouns Original: male and female Suggested revision: men and women Why it matters: Plural human nouns are required when referring to the two groups generally.
- 4. Use singular chart Original: graphs Suggested revision: chart Why it matters: Only one chart is presented.
- 5. Keep present tense Original: worked Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Use the present simple consistently when describing what the chart shows.
- 6. Fix uncountable noun Original: the household works like Suggested revision: household tasks such as Why it matters: "Work" is uncountable here, while "tasks such as" introduces the examples naturally.
- 7. Use concise examples Original: child caring, gardening etc. Suggested revision: childcare and gardening Why it matters: "Childcare" is the standard noun, and "etc." is unnecessary after these examples.
- 8. Use concise reference Original: As is presented in the line graph Suggested revision: As the chart shows Why it matters: The revision avoids a wordy passive reference and correctly names the visual.
- 9. Use uncountable work Original: household unpaid works Suggested revision: unpaid household work Why it matters: "Work" is uncountable in this context and should not take a plural ending.
- 10. Name category precisely Original: the men from the same category Suggested revision: men without children Why it matters: The chart labels this category by family size, so the direct label is clearer.
- 11. Use natural measure Original: work for only 18 hours Suggested revision: do only about 18 hours of unpaid work Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the amount of work naturally and preserves the approximate value.
- 12. Fix work phrase Original: The works done by females Suggested revision: The unpaid work done by women Why it matters: "Work" is uncountable and "women" is more natural than "females" here.
Suggested Rewrites
- The given line graph The given bar chart
- non-paid jobs unpaid work
- male and female men and women
- graphs chart
- worked work
- the household works like household tasks such as
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the central comparison: women do substantially more unpaid work, and their hours rise sharply with the number of children while men's hours remain stable. Its main limitation is that it does not answer the explicit instruction to suggest reasons, and recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The priority is to add a brief, plausible explanation for the gender pattern while tightening sentence-level accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The principal gender contrast and category figures are covered accurately, but the required explanation for the pattern is entirely omitted.
Add a concise, plausible reason, such as women assuming a larger share of childcare and housework as family size grows.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress from overview to category details and a conclusion, but repetition and the lack of paragraph divisions make the organisation mechanical.
Place the overview, numerical comparisons and suggested reasons in distinct paragraphs and avoid restating the same conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate topic vocabulary, but repeated unnatural forms such as "unpaid works", "child caring" and "offsprings" reduce precision.
Prefer standard terms such as "unpaid work", "childcare", "children" and "hours worked" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but frequent agreement, plural and article errors occur in both simple and complex sentences.
Check subject-verb agreement and countability carefully, especially forms such as "the work is", "men work" and "women work".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.