The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
Sample Response
The given column graph shows information on the duration of unpaid works done by men and women of different categories.
As is presented in the illustration, married women who don't have children do the unpaid-works (gardening, child care and household works) 30 hours per week whereas married men do the similar unpaid jobs for about 18 hours per week. Women, who have one or two children do such work for 50 hours/week but the men from the same category do only 17hours (approximately) each week. The women who have more than 3 kids seem to work the highest amount of unpaid works per week and that is nearly 60 hours. Surprisingly male from the same category work even less; amounting only 16 hours (approximately) of unpaid works.
In summary, women do the most of the unpaid jobs compared to men and with the increased number of children this workload for women increases.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart measure Original: duration of unpaid works Suggested revision: average number of hours of unpaid work Why it matters: The chart reports average weekly hours, and work is uncountable here.
- 2. Use concise reporting Original: As is presented in the illustration Suggested revision: As shown in the chart Why it matters: The shorter reporting phrase is clearer and accurately names the visual.
- 3. Use formal contraction Original: don't Suggested revision: do not Why it matters: The full form is more appropriate in a formal academic report.
- 4. Remove plural hyphen Original: the unpaid-works Suggested revision: unpaid work Why it matters: Work is uncountable in this meaning and does not take a hyphen.
- 5. Use standard compound Original: child care Suggested revision: childcare Why it matters: Childcare is conventionally written as one word in this context.
- 6. Use correct term Original: household works Suggested revision: housework Why it matters: Housework is the standard uncountable noun for domestic tasks.
- 7. Add clause comma Original: 30 hours per week whereas Suggested revision: 30 hours per week, whereas Why it matters: A comma is needed before whereas when it joins these contrasting clauses.
- 8. Remove article error Original: the similar unpaid jobs Suggested revision: similar unpaid work Why it matters: Similar does not take the definite article here, and work is uncountable.
- 9. Remove restrictive comma Original: Women, who have one or two children Suggested revision: Women who have one or two children Why it matters: The relative clause identifies the relevant group and should not be set off by a comma.
- 10. Write unit formally Original: 50 hours/week Suggested revision: 50 hours per week Why it matters: Spelling out per week is clearer in formal prose.
- 11. Add number spacing Original: 17hours Suggested revision: 17 hours Why it matters: A space is required between the numeral and the unit.
- 12. Correct family category Original: more than 3 kids Suggested revision: three or more children Why it matters: The chart's category includes families with exactly three children as well as larger families.
Suggested Rewrites
- duration of unpaid works average number of hours of unpaid work
- As is presented in the illustration As shown in the chart
- don't do not
- the unpaid-works unpaid work
- child care childcare
- household works housework
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report clearly compares men and women across all three family categories and accurately captures the contrasting trends as the number of children rises. Its main limitation is that it does not answer the instruction to suggest reasons, while recurring word-form and agreement errors reduce precision. Add a brief, plausible explanation for the gender gap and revise phrases such as "unpaid work" and "married men work" for grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The figures, gender comparisons and overall trends are accurately reported, but the required reasons for the pattern are omitted.
Add one or two cautious reasons, such as unequal childcare and household responsibilities, after describing the main pattern.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, detail paragraph and summary create clear progression, with comparisons ordered consistently by family category.
Improve flow further by reducing repeated reporting phrases and linking the numerical pattern directly to the concluding overview.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to describe the chart, but repeated misuse of "works," "male" and informal "kids" limits precision.
Use uncountable "unpaid work," plural "men," and the formal phrase "three or more children" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear and some complex comparisons are used, but agreement, article, punctuation and noun-form errors recur frequently.
Check subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries, especially in constructions describing what married men and women do.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.