The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given diagram presents information on average weekly unpaid working hours of married men and women according to their family members’ number (without children, 1-2 children, with 3 children). It is clear that women spend more time doing the unpaid works than men do. The unpaid works mainly involve household and child upbringing works like housework, taking care of children, and gardening.
As is illustrated in the diagram, more the number of children the more unpaid working hours could be observed in the case of women and the reverse scenario is true for unpaid working hours of men. Women without children work about 30 hours of unpaid works per week while it is about 17 hours for men without children. The unpaid working hours increases significantly when a married woman has children. For 1-2 children this working hour stands at over 50 hours per week and for 3+ children it reaches to about 60 hours. Interestingly, the weekly unpaid working hours for married men decrease very slightly with the increase of children in the family. While a man works for about 17 hours of unpaid tasks weekly if has no child this working hour decreases to nearly 16 when he has children.
This is a possibility because women most of the time stay at home and do more household and child-rearing tasks than men do. Men, on the other hand, work outside and do less household related tasks. Again married women with children need to work more on such tasks than married women without children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: family members’ number Suggested revision: number of children Why it matters: The replacement expresses the grouping variable clearly and idiomatically.
- 2. Match category labels Original: without children, 1-2 children, with 3 children Suggested revision: without children, with 1–2 children, or with 3+ children Why it matters: The final category includes families with three or more children.
- 3. Use uncountable work Original: the unpaid works than men do Suggested revision: unpaid work than men do Why it matters: Work is uncountable when referring generally to household labour.
- 4. Use uncountable work Original: The unpaid works mainly Suggested revision: Unpaid work mainly Why it matters: Work should not be pluralized in this general sense.
- 5. Choose natural term Original: child upbringing works Suggested revision: child-rearing tasks Why it matters: Child-rearing tasks is the natural phrase for this type of unpaid work.
- 6. Use uncountable work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work is an uncountable noun in this context.
- 7. Correct male figure Original: 17 Suggested revision: 19 Why it matters: The chart places married men without children at approximately 19 hours.
- 8. Fix agreement Original: increases Suggested revision: increase Why it matters: The plural subject hours requires the plural verb increase.
- 9. Identify group clearly Original: For 1-2 children this working hour Suggested revision: For women with 1–2 children, this figure Why it matters: The revision identifies the relevant group and uses figure appropriately for a data value.
- 10. Remove wrong preposition Original: reaches to about 60 hours Suggested revision: reaches about 60 hours Why it matters: Reach takes a direct object and does not require to here.
- 11. Clarify comparison Original: with the increase of children Suggested revision: as the number of children increases Why it matters: This clause expresses the changing variable more naturally and precisely.
- 12. Use concise explanation Original: This is a possibility because Suggested revision: This may be because Why it matters: The replacement introduces a possible explanation directly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- family members’ number number of children
- without children, 1-2 children, with 3 children without children, with 1–2 children, or with 3+ children
- the unpaid works than men do unpaid work than men do
- The unpaid works mainly Unpaid work mainly
- child upbringing works child-rearing tasks
- works work
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and accurately captures the contrasting pattern: women's unpaid work rises sharply with more children, while men's changes little, and the proposed reasons are relevant. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical and collocational awkwardness, which reduces precision despite generally clear meaning; prioritise subject–verb agreement, complete clause structures, and natural phrases such as 'unpaid work' to make the report more polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview, accurately compares the main gender patterns, and offers relevant reasons for them.
Refine the men's figures by distinguishing the virtually unchanged first two categories from the small fall for those with three or more children.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from an overview to detailed comparisons and then to possible explanations.
Reduce repetition of references to unpaid working hours by using more concise linking and controlled substitution.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range for describing trends and household responsibilities, though several collocations are unnatural.
Use precise uncountable and idiomatic forms such as 'unpaid work,' 'child-rearing tasks,' and 'the number of children.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons clearly, but agreement and clause-formation errors recur.
Check subject–verb agreement and ensure clauses have explicit subjects, especially in forms such as 'if he has no children.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.