A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In this century, there are a countless number of people that are showing interest in what concerne animals rights, therefore it is becoming an actual and argued topic.
People are starting to look disapprovingly all situations and events with animal exploitation. Infact, circus for example, has lost its popularity and the audience prefer human performances.
Moreover, animal rights have become part of the law and animal’s abuse is punished with fees and occasionally with prison.
Further more, also the animal breeding has been observed and people are realizing that the killing and the slaughter of animals is cruelly done. It is important to realize that people of new generations are developing a new sensibility concerning this issue, but currently it is emerging a new exstremist thought.
Despite the huge number of vegeterian people (which the majority of them are following a new fashion), there are also people with distorted views.
The area that worry me most regards the animal research which allows considerable and important improvements in the medical research, therefore in human walfare. The animalist group are spreading wrong information, directly demaging the research sector. As an illustration, few months ago an animalist group destroyed years and years of neurological research freeing rats used in a laboratory, because they would have been cruelly treated. Unfortunately this animalists did not know that for each treatment was used anesthesia.
Given these points, I defend animal rights and I do not support any form of animal exploitation, nevertheless I do not support any exetremist thought especially concerning medical research.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the quantifier Original: countless Suggested revision: large Why it matters: “Countless” cannot naturally follow the singular article in this construction.
- 2. Correct the spelling Original: concerne Suggested revision: concerns Why it matters: The verb is spelled “concerns” in this clause.
- 3. Fix noun form Original: animals Suggested revision: animal Why it matters: The singular noun “animal” functions attributively before “rights.”
- 4. Use precise adjectives Original: actual and argued topic Suggested revision: current and controversial topic Why it matters: “Current” and “controversial” convey the intended meanings accurately.
- 5. Add the preposition Original: look disapprovingly all Suggested revision: look disapprovingly at all Why it matters: The verb phrase “look disapprovingly” requires “at” before its object.
- 6. Use a clear connector Original: Infact Suggested revision: Indeed Why it matters: “Indeed” introduces the supporting example with a correctly formed connector.
- 7. Fix article and commas Original: circus for example, Suggested revision: the circus, for example, Why it matters: The generic institution needs an article, and the parenthetical phrase needs two commas.
- 8. Remove the possessive Original: animal’s Suggested revision: animal Why it matters: “Animal” is an attributive noun here, so no possessive apostrophe is needed.
- 9. Use the correct penalty Original: fees Suggested revision: fines Why it matters: A monetary legal punishment is a “fine,” not a “fee.”
- 10. Use the correct noun Original: prison Suggested revision: imprisonment Why it matters: “Imprisonment” names the punishment, whereas “prison” names the place.
- 11. Use a clear transition Original: Further more Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: “Moreover” provides a correctly formed transition to the additional point.
- 12. Remove redundant words Original: also the animal breeding Suggested revision: animal breeding Why it matters: “Furthermore” already adds information, and the generic noun phrase does not need “the.”
Suggested Rewrites
- countless large
- concerne concerns
- animals animal
- actual and argued topic current and controversial topic
- look disapprovingly all look disapprovingly at all
- Infact Indeed
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies concerns about cruelty and the value of medical research, giving it a relevant core. However, the two views are unevenly covered, the final position is internally unclear, and frequent lexical and grammatical errors disrupt precision. The highest priority is to state a qualified opinion explicitly, organise one developed paragraph for each view, and edit sentences for basic agreement, articles, and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses animal protection and medical research, but the opposing views are unevenly developed and the final opinion is contradictory.
State clearly which uses of animals are acceptable, then develop both views with distinct reasons covering the task's main examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main positions can be followed, but numerous short paragraphs and mechanical connectors create fragmented progression.
Combine related points into two developed body paragraphs and use linking expressions only where the logical relationship is clear.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant topic vocabulary is attempted, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors substantially reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate high-frequency vocabulary and systematically check spelling and word forms before adding less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, and clause structure persist.
Build shorter complete sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement, articles, and plural forms before combining ideas into complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.