Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people have freedom to choose sports activities they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
In an era when an increasing number of people take part in dangerous extreme sports, the question of whether such activities should be banned or not has sparked an intense debate. Some people believe that they should be prohibited due to their dangerit should be prohibited for their danger, while opponents argue that it is a matter of personal freedom to choose such sportsit is personal freedom to choose such sports. Before presenting my own opinion, these two opposite views will be further analyzed.
On the one hand,Initially, there is no denying that dangerous sports can bring certain benefits for some people who can acquire a sense of achievement and excitement through extreme sports. Since dangerous extreme activities require large amounts of time and strong physiques, it is more likely for them to feel satisfied when they accomplish such sports as they overcome the difficulties and physical limitationslimitation during the process. Besides, strengthened physical conditions and immune systemssystem lay a solid foundation for daily work and lives. What’s more, companies need to build more infrastructure, purchase professional equipment, and recruit workerspurchase professional equipment and recruiting workers to meet increasing demands and improve the safety of participants. Thus, more job opportunities are provided to people, which can boost their disposable income and improve their living standards.
It is reasonable for people to restrict and even ban dangerous sports for their potential risks. Undoubtedly, due to many different reasons, such as a lack of substandard or outdated equipmentsuperficial and outdated equipment, participants may get injured or even die, placing a heavy burden on public healthcare systemsposing a heavy burden on social medical systems, which means that other patients may not get proper and effective medical treatment in time.
From my perspective, since dangerous sports have both merits and demerits, it is impossible for governments to prohibit them completely. It is advisable for governments to introduce regulations to manageintroduce regulations that formulate rules for the management of dangerous sports, promoting their safety.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively addresses both sides of the debate regarding dangerous sports and presents a clear, nuanced personal perspective. Paragraphs are logically structured, though the development of the arguments against banning extreme sports could be more balanced with the points in favour. To elevate the writing further, focus on refining word choice in complex sentences and ensuring strict grammatical parallelism throughout list structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing reasons to allow dangerous sports, reasons to restrict them, and a concluding personal opinion.
Ensure both viewpoints receive relatively equal depth of explanation and supporting detail before stating your final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically with clear paragraphing and cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly between ideas.
Vary linkers across body paragraphs to avoid relying on repetitive listing transitions like initially and besides.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used flexibly, with only occasional minor word choice errors.
Pay close attention to word meanings in context to avoid unintended word choices such as using superficial when referring to equipment or oversight.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used with generally good control over grammar and punctuation.
Check parallel structures in long sentences to ensure verbs and nouns match consistently across linked clauses.