Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people have freedom to choose sports activities they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the era that people's awareness of concentrating on doing sports has becomebecame more and more universal, the question of whether people should participate in high-risk sportsattend some sports with high risks has sparked an intense debate. Before presenting my own opinion, twoopinion two opposite views will be further analyzed. Initially, there is no denying that dangerous sports actually bring positive benefitsbring a few positive feedback to some individualsa part of people who really need some extremely exciting ways to search for some feelings of achievement. In order to realise their personal aims, they need to spend more energy and timetimes in training and exercise, which could help them build a stronger body and strengthen their immune system. What's more, more and more facilitiesrelated infrastructures will be added to satisfy their increasing demands. MeanwhileAt the meanwhile, there are more opportunities for those who need jobs to survive and support their familiesfamily. When it comes to the reasons why people ought to ban dangerous sportsinhibit some dangerous sports are that some dangerous sports have extremelysuper high potential risks because of the lackbecause the lack of security guarantee. In addition, the people who prefer doing some dangerous sports just seek personal excitementseek for personal excitements without providing any advantages to the society, while they will get injured more easily, thus it would cause more pressure on the medical systemto medical system and wastemake a waste of precious public resources. In conclusion, we ought to prohibit some sports that cannot offersports can’t offer benefits to the society because of the selfishness of participantsbecause those people’s selfishness. However, the other dangerous sports that can be done underat the supervision of officials and regular associations could be accepted.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay addresses both perspectives of the prompt and provides a clear concluding opinion. Its main limitation stems from frequent grammatical accuracy issues and awkward expressions that occasionally disrupt clarity. Focusing on improving grammatical control and phrasing accuracy will significantly elevate the essay's overall quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate addresses both sides of the argument and outlines a clear personal stance in the conclusion.
Ensure all supporting points directly align with the core theme of dangerous sports rather than general economic benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized into distinct paragraphs with clear overall progression, though transition phrases are sometimes misused.
Use linking devices more naturally and avoid phrases like 'At the meanwhile' or awkward sentence openers.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a varied vocabulary, but errors in word choice and awkward collocations occur regularly.
Focus on precise word choices and natural collocations, such as 'health benefits' instead of 'positive feedback'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a combination of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors in tense, agreements, and clause construction are frequent.
Practice relative clause structures and subject-verb agreement to reduce noticeable structural errors.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people have freedom to choose sports activities they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.