An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
People switch career paths and move to different places for various reasons ranging from better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life. In many instances, this has many positive impacts on family or community of a person. Particularly when a talent is not recognised and appreciated in a country or in a career, it is definitely a wise step to change jobs and move to greener pastures. If we consider the case of a person coming from a developing country, it is very likely that there are fewer opportunities in his home country. If this person relocates to a country where his skill is regarded as niche and rare, chances are that he will get paid 100-300% more than his pay in his native country. For instance, today there are better-paying jobs in Information Technology industry in the USA than in India. Due to this, young population in India wants to relocate to one of these countries to have better standards of living and salaries. Apart from this, there are more chances to go up in corporate ladder and get chances to interact and work with experts in the industries. In some instances, even when we have the best paying job, one may not end their day satisfied. It is strongly advised to divert their energies to a career of their interest or choice. On the contrary, when relocating to a different country or a job, one needs to leave their families and friends behind and live far from them. It takes very long time to socialise in new environments and get used to cultures. For example, if one migrated from India to Australia, he will have to adjust to different weather conditions, cultures and living style. A lot of things that are deemed acceptable in India are probably considered absolutely insane in Australia. Due to reasons like this, career growth may stagnate for a while and sometimes does not go as expected. We should balance the positives and negatives when deciding to change careers or living places. When we need years to adjust to new careers and communities, it is wise to calculate impact beforehand and move on.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Plural consistency Original: switch career paths Suggested revision: switch their career paths Why it matters: The possessive clarifies whose career paths are being discussed.
- 2. Parallel list Original: better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life Suggested revision: better prospects, higher earnings, and a better quality of life Why it matters: The list needs parallel grammar.
- 3. Missing articles Original: on family or community of a person Suggested revision: on a person's family or community Why it matters: This is a more natural noun phrase.
- 4. Idiomatic phrase Original: move to greener pastures Suggested revision: seek better opportunities Why it matters: The idiom is understandable but less formal than direct academic wording.
- 5. Missing article Original: Information Technology industry Suggested revision: the information technology industry Why it matters: The industry needs an article and does not need capital letters here.
- 6. Missing article Original: young population in India Suggested revision: the young population in India Why it matters: A specific population group needs the article.
- 7. Article and preposition Original: go up in corporate ladder Suggested revision: move up the corporate ladder Why it matters: This is the natural phrase.
- 8. Hyphenation Original: best paying job Suggested revision: best-paying job Why it matters: The compound adjective should be hyphenated before a noun.
- 9. Unclear expression Original: one may not end their day satisfied Suggested revision: a person may still feel dissatisfied Why it matters: This expresses the point more directly.
- 10. Preposition issue Original: when relocating to a different country or a job Suggested revision: when relocating to a different country or changing jobs Why it matters: You relocate to a country but change a job.
- 11. Missing article Original: It takes very long time Suggested revision: It takes a very long time Why it matters: Time needs the article in this expression.
- 12. Tense choice Original: if one migrated from India to Australia Suggested revision: if one migrates from India to Australia Why it matters: Use present tense for a general example.
Suggested Rewrites
- switch career paths switch their career paths
- better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life better prospects, higher earnings, and a better quality of life
- on family or community of a person on a person's family or community
- move to greener pastures seek better opportunities
- Information Technology industry the information technology industry
- young population in India the young population in India
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses whether career and location changes are positive or negative and includes both benefits and drawbacks, but the final position is delayed and not stated clearly in the introduction.
State early that the development is mostly positive or balanced, then make each example prove that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a reasonable contrast pattern, but the essay is written as one long paragraph, which weakens organisation and makes examples harder to track.
Divide the essay into introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is fairly varied and often natural, with some good phrases, but there are still inaccurate collocations and occasional informal or exaggerated wording.
Use precise phrases such as career mobility, relocation, professional growth, adjustment period, cultural adaptation, and social isolation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable with some complex structures, but there are errors in articles, prepositions, pronoun reference, and sentence control.
Edit long sentences for articles and prepositions, especially in phrases about jobs, countries, and standards of living.