Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many people debate on what should be done about punishment on criminals. Some individuals believe that there should be standard punishment for every kind of crime and that should be followed while sentencing a criminal. Yet, some others argue that reasons for crime and background of executing crime should be considered while determining proper punishment for criminals. This essay will take a look at this issue from both points of views.
To begin with, people may agree to impose fixed standard punishment on criminals based on the crime they committed. By doing this, criminals will be punished according to the crime they made and it seems fair for everyone since they believe the bigger the crime, the harder the prison. For example, imposing the death penalty to both murderer and terrorist who have committed to the same type of crime seems reasonable to many people. It is a considerably equal crime and therefore, they should be punished by death sentence. When someone kills a person, no matter what was the reason, s/he should be punished according to the predetermined laws.
On the other hand, others argue that in determining the proper punishment for criminals, there should be some considerations of what were the motives of crime and also the background of criminals. There must be different punishment between a serial killer and someone who was forced to kill for self-defending. Applying same punishment to the woman who stole a loaf of bread from a store to feed her hungry baby and a corrupt government employee who stole millions of dollar to amass his wealth is not at all justified though stealing was the crime in both cases.
All in all, fixed punishment is needed to standardise punishment for different crimes. Nonetheless, there should be some considerations on the motives and environment of criminals in imposing the proper punishment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the verb pattern Original: debate on what Suggested revision: debate what Why it matters: The verb 'debate' takes a direct object without 'on'.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: 'Punishment for' is the natural phrase when referring to offenders.
- 3. Add an article Original: there should be standard punishment Suggested revision: there should be a standard punishment Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'punishment' requires an article.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: and that should be followed Suggested revision: and that standard should be followed Why it matters: Naming the standard removes the vague pronoun reference.
- 5. Add definite articles Original: reasons for crime Suggested revision: the reasons for the crime Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific reasons and crime in each case.
- 6. Clarify the circumstances Original: background of executing crime Suggested revision: circumstances in which the crime was committed Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic description of a crime's context.
- 7. Correct noun number Original: views Suggested revision: view Why it matters: The fixed expression pluralises 'points' but keeps 'view' singular.
- 8. Express support clearly Original: agree to impose fixed Suggested revision: support imposing fixed Why it matters: 'Support imposing' clearly describes approval of this policy.
- 9. Use legal collocation Original: made Suggested revision: committed Why it matters: A person 'commits' a crime rather than makes one.
- 10. Clarify proportionality Original: the bigger the crime, the harder the prison Suggested revision: the more serious the crime, the harsher the sentence Why it matters: Severity applies to crimes and sentences, while a prison itself is not 'harder'.
- 11. Correct articles and preposition Original: death penalty to both murderer and terrorist Suggested revision: death penalty on both a murderer and a terrorist Why it matters: The penalty is imposed 'on' people, and both singular roles need articles.
- 12. Remove faulty preposition Original: committed to the same type of crime Suggested revision: committed the same type of crime Why it matters: The transitive verb 'committed' takes the crime directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- debate on what debate what
- on for
- there should be standard punishment there should be a standard punishment
- and that should be followed and that standard should be followed
- reasons for crime the reasons for the crime
- background of executing crime circumstances in which the crime was committed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay gives a balanced discussion of standardised sentencing and case-specific punishment, using contrasting examples to make the second view especially clear. Its main limitation is precision: some examples are logically questionable and frequent legal collocation and grammar errors weaken otherwise coherent reasoning. Prioritise a more explicit final opinion and express the comparison through accurate terms such as offence severity, mitigating circumstances, and proportional sentencing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed with relevant examples and the conclusion supports a qualified combination of consistency and individual consideration, though the precise preference could be clearer.
State explicitly how fixed sentencing guidelines should interact with mitigating circumstances, and use a sounder example for equal offences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear progression through an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a balanced conclusion, with generally effective signposting.
Strengthen cohesion by linking each example directly back to fairness or proportionality instead of repeating references to punishment and crime.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the legal topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'sentence offenders,' 'commit an offence,' 'receive the death penalty,' and 'act in self-defence.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but article, agreement, preposition, and clause errors occur regularly.
Check articles and prepositions in legal noun phrases and revise embedded questions such as 'what the motives were.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.