Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
To date, we have thousands of laws, regulations, general rules enumerated to ensure our society functions as it should be. However, these restrictions could never be enough to cover every circumstance that happened around-the-clock. Therefore, should the law be our gospel for us to follow strictly without deviation? Or should we perceive each case as an individual and take multiple factors into considerations? My opinion is definitely on the latter. For people who value law as an impregnable principle, the law itself would surpass human judgments. Humanity could be a defection when coming to talk about righteousness. Sentiments and bias might get in the way and eventually lead to miscalculation and unjustness, resulting in man-made errors, a horrendous failure for justice. Despite the fact that human error is almost inevitable, people still believe taking certain factors into consideration is genuinely legitimate. Laws are considered the most basic requirement of human morality, making it the reason why this issue has become controversial. People might have broken the law yet the motivation behind such a deed could alter our interpretation to it. The main character in the Opera “Les miserable” stole a loaf of bread because he was almost starved to death; a young heroin addict pickpocketed a wallet to cater to his cravings. These two cases above are both thieveries, yet the morality standard was hardly even. Our cognition helps us reconsider and adjust our decisions and prevent us from nonchalantly putting the same amount of punishment on these two men without pondering over some more congruous solution. The law could be the guidance, a foundation of our ethical standards. Nevertheless, we still have to make room for flexibilities and consider every crime as an individual.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the list Original: laws, regulations, general rules Suggested revision: laws, regulations, and general rules Why it matters: Use a conjunction before the final item in this list.
- 2. Use present tense Original: happened Suggested revision: happens Why it matters: The general claim requires the present tense.
- 3. Correct adverb form Original: around-the-clock Suggested revision: around the clock Why it matters: The adverbial phrase is written without hyphens here.
- 4. Use singular noun Original: considerations Suggested revision: consideration Why it matters: The fixed expression uses the singular uncountable noun 'consideration'.
- 5. Use natural phrase Original: on the latter Suggested revision: in favour of the latter Why it matters: This phrase states a preference idiomatically.
- 6. Choose precise wording Original: impregnable Suggested revision: inviolable Why it matters: 'Inviolable' more precisely describes a principle that must not be broken.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: when coming to talk about Suggested revision: when discussing Why it matters: The original phrase is unnecessarily awkward and non-idiomatic.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: Sentiments Suggested revision: Emotion Why it matters: The revised abstract nouns form a more natural pairing in this context.
- 9. Use precise nouns Original: miscalculation and unjustness Suggested revision: misjudgement and injustice Why it matters: These nouns accurately describe errors and unfair outcomes in legal decisions.
- 10. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The established expression is 'a failure of justice'.
- 11. Add clause marker Original: people still believe taking Suggested revision: people still believe that taking Why it matters: 'That' is needed to introduce the following finite content clause clearly.
- 12. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun 'interpretation' takes 'of' for the thing being interpreted.
Suggested Rewrites
- laws, regulations, general rules laws, regulations, and general rules
- happened happens
- around-the-clock around the clock
- considerations consideration
- on the latter in favour of the latter
- impregnable inviolable
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear preference for considering individual circumstances and supports it with contrasting crime examples, while also explaining why fixed rules may protect decisions from bias. Its main limitation is that both viewpoints are expressed through abstract or occasionally questionable reasoning, and imprecise vocabulary often obscures nuance. Prioritise clearer, more concrete development of each position using natural legal terminology.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the preference for individualised punishment remains clear, though some reasoning is abstract and the comparison between the two thefts is not fully convincing.
Develop each view with a concrete consequence, such as consistency from fixed penalties versus proportionality from considering motive and circumstances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves logically from fixed-law reasoning to individual circumstances and a clear conclusion, but the lack of paragraphing and some abrupt transitions reduce cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for each view and signal the shift between them with a precise topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts an ambitious range of legal and ethical vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices and word-form errors weaken precision.
Replace strained expressions such as 'humanity could be a defection' and 'both thieveries' with direct, conventional legal language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures generally convey the argument, although agreement, preposition, number, and sentence-construction errors recur.
Check fixed forms such as 'take factors into consideration,' singular-plural agreement, and article use before adding stylistic complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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