In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
The concept of old homes is very prevalent in modern societies. However, this trend has dramatically increased in some developing and developed countries over the last few years. Senior citizens prefer to live in those homes because of better interaction and care facilities. Some people argue that state is responsible for looking after their people and should spend money on their care. Others claim that expenses should be bear by family in response to hard work and effort for providing health, education and other amenities of life to their family members. I believe that it is a mutual duty of family and government to support them financially.
Family plays a substantial role in providing comfort to their elders, therefore effort of senior citizens should be acknowledged as they have spent all their for the upbringing and taking care of children health, education and other necessities of life. During the old age of their parent, it is a primary obligation of the family members not to deprive them of their basics financial needs.
On the other hand, senior citizens had served their entire life while serving in both public and private sector for the betterment of the country. They have deposited chucks of money in government funds in term of taxes throughout their services, this makes them eligible for the help of the government in the time of need.
To sum up, I would like to say that government should take necessary measures for making comfort and ease in senior people lives. Their health-related issues should be urgently solved while not taking even a single penny from them. Moreover, the family is also responsible of their elders need and must put their maximum efforts to make them happy during their last days.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard care term Original: old Suggested revision: care Why it matters: “Care homes” is the established term for residential facilities for older people.
- 2. Fix trend collocation Original: trend has dramatically increased Suggested revision: trend has grown dramatically Why it matters: A trend grows or becomes more common; it does not itself “increase” in this structure.
- 3. Complete the cause Original: because of better interaction and care facilities Suggested revision: because they offer better social interaction and care facilities Why it matters: The revision supplies a subject and verb and clarifies what the homes provide.
- 4. Add definite article Original: state is responsible Suggested revision: the state is responsible Why it matters: The institutional noun “state” requires the definite article here.
- 5. Match singular state Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular noun “state” requires the singular possessive pronoun “its.”
- 6. Use articles and plural Original: mutual duty of family and government Suggested revision: shared duty of families and the government Why it matters: The general reference needs plural “families” and the institutional noun needs “the.”
- 7. Fix age expression Original: During the old age of their parent Suggested revision: When their parents reach old age Why it matters: The revision uses the natural time clause and matches plural family members with plural parents.
- 8. Use adjective basic Original: basics Suggested revision: basic Why it matters: The noun “needs” requires the adjective “basic,” not the plural noun “basics.”
- 9. Fix tense and number Original: senior citizens had served their entire life Suggested revision: senior citizens have served throughout their entire lives Why it matters: The present relevance requires the present perfect, and plural citizens have plural lives.
- 10. Fix sectors phrase Original: while serving in both public and private sector Suggested revision: while working in both the public and private sectors Why it matters: Both sectors require the plural noun and a shared definite article.
- 11. Add definite article Original: government should take necessary measures Suggested revision: the government should take necessary measures Why it matters: The specific national institution requires “the.”
- 12. Fix purpose phrase Original: for making comfort and ease Suggested revision: to provide comfort and support Why it matters: The revision uses the natural “provide comfort” collocation and a clear infinitive of purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- old care
- trend has dramatically increased trend has grown dramatically
- because of better interaction and care facilities because they offer better social interaction and care facilities
- state is responsible the state is responsible
- their its
- mutual duty of family and government shared duty of families and the government
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear shared-responsibility position and organises relevant reasons for both families and the state. Its main limitation is that the supporting ideas remain fairly general, while frequent problems with sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, possessives, and word choice reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each reason with a concrete explanation or example while editing sentences for grammatical control and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear shared-responsibility position and relevant reasons for both parties, although development is limited.
Extend each main reason with a specific explanation or example showing how the proposed financial responsibility would work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the overall argument is easy to follow, but some long sentence connections and referencing are imprecise.
Use full stops or correctly controlled complex sentences instead of joining independent ideas with commas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common terms, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce accuracy.
Replace unnatural combinations such as references to old homes or making comfort with precise, idiomatic expressions about residential care and support.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, plurals, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Proofread each sentence for a clear subject-verb structure and check articles, possessive forms, and agreement systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.