In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
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Sample Response
In Britain, many elderly people tend to live with fellow elderly residentsother old people in nursing homesat nursing home. Although most people believe that government fundingthe government funding should be used to sustain this care, I believe that the family should also be providing for their family member.
To begin with, the family members have the moral responsibility to take care of their loved ones. Supporting the care facility through daily or monthly spending means that the family acknowledged their loved one. There are always examples of wealthy families whowealthy family, who are willing to pay entirely for their elderly to be in a nursing facilityin nursing facility, but they are the minority, Often, working-class familiesworking class family struggle to make ends meetmeet end needs.
On the other hand, some people would argue that old people have more-or-less contributed to societycontributed to the society and, therefore, are entitled to government support later in lifelater in their life. This may be true, but there are people living on government funding a majority of their life. As far as society is concernedAs far as society concerned, government funding is limited. Spending a large proportion of fundslarge chunk of money on the elderly population in nursing homeshome would put a great pressure on other areas that need fundingfundings such as child care, maintaining food security and providing shelter for the homelessproviding home for homeless people.
On balance, the majority would benefit from a portion of government funding to maintain nursing home facilities. However, the family cannot transfer the responsibility of caring for their loved ones entirely to the government. I believe that the family should make reasonable financial contributionsmore-or-less contribute daily or monthly, depending on their capacity to support their loved one.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear and nuanced position proposing a shared financial responsibility between families and the government, supported by relevant main points. However, the development of ideas is occasionally incomplete, and recurring errors in grammar and vocabulary choices distract from the main arguments. To improve, focus on thoroughly expanding supporting arguments and polishing grammatical accuracy and natural word partnerships.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You address the prompt effectively by presenting a clear position that advocates for a shared payment responsibility between the government and families.
Ensure every supporting point, such as the financial strain on working-class families, is fully explained rather than left unaddressed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical paragraph structure with a clear overall progression from introduction to conclusion.
Refine transitions and linking phrases to ensure smoother connections between ideas within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though some awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices occur.
Focus on improving precise collocations and idiomatic expressions, such as replacing meet end needs with make ends meet.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but grammatical errors and missing articles occur frequently.
Review article usage and noun forms, such as distinguishing between countable and uncountable nouns like funding.