In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Sample Response
As a part of the population in a country grows older, the issue of who should take care of the old population has been up for debate. Some believe that the family should take care of the old people while others believe that the government should take responsibility for their old citizens. I believe that the government and the family both have equal responsibility towards the aged population and instead of looking at the moral issues; we need to focus on what is better for them.
There are many families who are willing but are unable to look after their old parents and relatives due to certain factors such as poor financial situation. On the other hand, we have some families who capable but are just unwilling to look after their old ones due to various reason such as ideological differences etc. In both of those cases, I think it's better for the government to take the responsibility and look after the aged family members since the whole issue is how can we make sure those individuals live their remaining life comfortably. Forcing the families that just can't or aren't willing to look after their old members will only make the situation worse for the people we're trying to help.
On the other hand, we have lots of families which are both capable and are more than happy to look after their loved ones once they grow older. Well in those cases, the solution is quite clear and there seems to be no reason for the government to interfere.
All in all, I think that the issue of who should look after the old population depends on those factors listed above and our policy must act in the interest of the old population so that they can enjoy their rest of the remaining years of their life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix government reference Original: their old citizens Suggested revision: its older citizens Why it matters: The singular government requires its, and older is more natural here.
- 2. Use shared-responsibility phrase Original: the government and the family both have equal responsibility Suggested revision: the government and families share equal responsibility Why it matters: Share responsibility expresses the joint role more directly.
- 3. Use natural population phrase Original: towards the aged population Suggested revision: for older people Why it matters: Responsibility for older people is clearer and more natural.
- 4. Replace faulty semicolon Original: moral issues; we need Suggested revision: moral issues, we need Why it matters: The introductory instead-of phrase should be followed by a comma.
- 5. Use direct opening Original: There are many families who are willing Suggested revision: Many families are willing Why it matters: The direct subject-verb opening is more concise.
- 6. Use natural finance phrase Original: poor financial situation Suggested revision: financial hardship Why it matters: Financial hardship is the natural uncountable expression.
- 7. Add missing verb Original: families who capable Suggested revision: families who are capable Why it matters: The adjective capable requires the linking verb are.
- 8. Clarify family reference Original: their old ones Suggested revision: their older relatives Why it matters: Older relatives identifies the people clearly and naturally.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: reason Suggested revision: reasons Why it matters: Various must modify a plural countable noun.
- 10. Remove redundant ending Original: such as ideological differences etc. Suggested revision: such as ideological differences Why it matters: Such as already signals that the example list is incomplete.
- 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: take the responsibility Suggested revision: take responsibility Why it matters: Responsibility is uncountable in this general expression.
- 12. Use natural age term Original: aged Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Older is the natural adjective for people in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- their old citizens its older citizens
- the government and the family both have equal responsibility the government and families share equal responsibility
- towards the aged population for older people
- moral issues; we need moral issues, we need
- There are many families who are willing Many families are willing
- poor financial situation financial hardship
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a humane, nuanced position that responsibility should depend on a family's ability and willingness, and its case-based structure is easy to follow. However, it often discusses who should provide care rather than directly answering who should pay for residential nursing care. Prioritise a concrete funding model—family payment when affordable and government support when it is not—then reduce repetition and correct recurring clause and agreement errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response offers a clear conditional position and relevant family circumstances, but it largely addresses who should look after older people rather than who should finance professional care.
State explicitly who should pay in each circumstance and explain how means-tested government support and family contributions could operate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly from the position to cases requiring government help, cases suitable for family support, and a consistent conclusion.
Strengthen the contrast by opening each body paragraph with an explicit funding principle rather than another general reference to families.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for care, responsibility, and family circumstances, but repetition and imprecise expressions such as "old ones" and "old members" limit flexibility.
Use respectful and precise terms such as "older relatives," "elderly residents," "care costs," and "financially able families."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures communicates the argument, though missing verbs, agreement errors, embedded-question order, and redundancy recur.
Correct forms such as "families who are capable," "various reasons," "how we can ensure," and "the remaining years of their lives."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.