It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, developing of technology has created more stressful living conditions to humans. I believe that overpopulation and expenditure factors are two leading reasons for that, and some practical solutions should be implemented to tackle them. Obviously, stress has been intensified globally due to two important reasons. The one is increasing the density of population globally. Birth rates have fundamentally grown, especially in cities, during last century, making more stressful situations to dwellers. For example, in India and China, their population have escalated far considerably since last three decades, reaching almost half of total world’s population. As a result, inhabitants are annoyed more by traffic jams or noise pollution coming from vehicles. To reduce this growth, governments and organisations should consider more practical methods to slow the escalation of the population on Earth via popularising the contraceptive methods among couples or encouraging urban inhabitants to move and live in suburb areas. Another reason is the enhancement of living spending. Individuals have to work longer hours than the past to be able to afford their regular expenses, including Internet bill, house mortgage or car lease; however, before people did not have to pay these bills. In addition, citizens used to paid more for their journeys than the past. Accessing to more low-cost airlines or resorts, individuals are motivated to spend more on them annually; therefore, they have to work longer hours and have more stressful lifestyles to pay them. To tackle this issue, the related authorities are better to consider more restrictions on workloads, which have been on of leading reasons for having a more anxious living condition. In conclusion, anxiety has been raised notably. Inclining the density of population and growing of expenditures are two important reasons for that, and administrations should control them and subside people’s stress. Had governments limited these two factors, the level of stress would have been reduced far considerably.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Gerund structure Original: developing of technology Suggested revision: the development of technology Why it matters: After "the", use the noun phrase "development of technology" rather than "developing of".
- 2. Natural collocation Original: more stressful living conditions to humans Suggested revision: more stressful living conditions for people Why it matters: The phrase needs the preposition "for" and "people" sounds more natural than "humans" here.
- 3. Unnatural cause phrase Original: expenditure factors Suggested revision: financial pressures Why it matters: This is a vague and unnatural phrase; "financial pressures" names the cause more clearly.
- 4. Article and structure Original: The one is increasing the density Suggested revision: One is the increasing density Why it matters: The original structure is not idiomatic and needs a clearer subject.
- 5. Missing article Original: during last century Suggested revision: during the last century Why it matters: Use "the" before "last century".
- 6. Awkward expression Original: making more stressful situations to dwellers Suggested revision: creating more stressful conditions for residents Why it matters: This replacement is clearer and uses natural collocations.
- 7. Subject-verb agreement Original: their population have escalated Suggested revision: their populations have increased Why it matters: The plural subject needs "have", and "increased" is more natural than "escalated" here.
- 8. Redundant intensifier Original: far considerably Suggested revision: considerably Why it matters: Use one intensifier; "far considerably" is not standard English.
- 9. Time expression Original: since last three decades Suggested revision: over the last three decades Why it matters: Use "over" for a period of time and add "the".
- 10. Unnatural noun phrase Original: enhancement of living spending Suggested revision: increase in living costs Why it matters: This is the standard phrase for rising everyday expenses.
- 11. Article needed Original: Internet bill Suggested revision: Internet bills Why it matters: Use a plural noun when listing regular expenses in general.
- 12. Verb form Original: citizens used to paid Suggested revision: citizens pay Why it matters: After "used to", the verb should be base form; in context, present tense is clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- developing of technology the development of technology
- more stressful living conditions to humans more stressful living conditions for people
- expenditure factors financial pressures
- The one is increasing the density One is the increasing density
- during last century during the last century
- making more stressful situations to dwellers creating more stressful conditions for residents
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay answers both parts of the question and gives identifiable causes and solutions. However, the argument is sometimes narrow, population control is only loosely connected to everyday stress, and the solution for work pressure is underdeveloped.
Make each cause-solution pair explicit: explain exactly how it creates stress, then give a practical remedy with one realistic example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, body and conclusion, but progression is weakened by one very long body paragraph and several abrupt shifts between population, costs, travel and workloads.
Use separate body paragraphs for population pressure and cost/work pressure, with a final sentence in each paragraph linking the cause back to stress.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to communicate the ideas, but frequent word-choice and collocation problems make the writing sound unnatural, such as "expenditure factors", "enhancement of living spending" and "subside people’s stress".
Use simpler standard collocations: "living costs", "population density", "reduce stress", "traffic congestion", and "financial pressure".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but article use, verb forms, prepositions and sentence control are inconsistent. These errors are frequent enough to reduce clarity in several sentences.
Edit every sentence for subject-verb agreement, article use and verb form before adding more complex conditional or participle structures.