It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
It is true that life has become miserable and more painful to live in today's competitive world. The trend to lead a normal life has become a nightmare in most part of the Globe. The impacts have various reasons and change in lifestyle. Let's discuss in detail. Firstly the lifestyle has been evolved to different levels, the rapid growth in technology and to collaborate with the latest trend people's workability is challenged. Generally, most of them believe that the lifestyle and the economy have been moved towards high heights. Technology has been revealed the opportunity and to cater the people's needs to upgrade themselves. Moreover, it has been observed that the economy and lifestyle in urban also drastically varied. For example, all individual thinks to prevail all opportunities and to enjoy each situation. These makes competitive in all ways. Even in education, the trend is been varied and maintained. In addition to that, there is infinite opportunity being evolved, in most of the developing countries there are lots of opportunity in Research and infrastructure sectors. Pupil believes that the more they work they more the will be paid, so they are ready to compromise the health and food for future life. In most of the Asian countries, people not only concentrated in earning more money for their day-to-day life, perhaps they earn to buy properties, which obvious being stressful. As a preventive measure, people can plan their work in a systematic way and spend more time with family. Every individual needs to take care of own selves. In most of the western countries, people do work 5 days in a week and left over will not be entertained for official work. They strictly prohibit and spend their time with family, friends & outings etc. These need to be alerted to people living more stressful life. the government can take some initiative and awareness program to familiarise the trends of leading a normal life, perhaps a protocol can be set by introducing the program's which can show the on and off's of living a stressful life, this could make some awareness between people and will start taking some initiative steps. In conclusion, the protocol to lead a normal life or stressful is completely dependent on each individual, every needs to think whatever is there it is more than enough, need to run behind continuously for some things which will impact on life. It is an opportunity for each individual to change their mindset and the self-satisfactory level, which could make them in moving to the right path to lead a normal and meaningful life, which will not trouble own self or environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Overdramatic wording Original: miserable and more painful Suggested revision: more stressful and demanding Why it matters: Use measured academic language for Task 2.
- 2. Unnatural phrase Original: in most part of the Globe Suggested revision: in many parts of the world Why it matters: This is the natural collocation.
- 3. Informal signpost Original: Let's discuss in detail. Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This conversational phrase does not add a clear argument.
- 4. Missing comma Original: Firstly the lifestyle Suggested revision: Firstly, lifestyle Why it matters: Add a comma after the sequence marker.
- 5. Wrong passive Original: has been evolved Suggested revision: has evolved Why it matters: Evolve is normally intransitive here, so passive form is incorrect.
- 6. Wrong word Original: workability Suggested revision: ability to work Why it matters: Workability does not express the intended meaning.
- 7. Incorrect verb form Original: Technology has been revealed the opportunity Suggested revision: Technology has created new opportunities Why it matters: The original passive structure is ungrammatical.
- 8. Missing preposition Original: to cater the people's needs Suggested revision: to cater to people’s needs Why it matters: Cater to is the correct verb pattern.
- 9. Agreement error Original: all individual thinks Suggested revision: all individuals think Why it matters: Plural subject requires plural noun and base verb.
- 10. Incomplete clause Original: These makes competitive Suggested revision: This makes life competitive Why it matters: The subject and object need to be clear and the verb must agree.
- 11. Wrong verb form Original: trend is been varied Suggested revision: trend has changed Why it matters: The original form is not grammatical.
- 12. Plural noun Original: lots of opportunity Suggested revision: many opportunities Why it matters: Use a plural noun after many or lots of.
Suggested Rewrites
- miserable and more painful more stressful and demanding
- in most part of the Globe in many parts of the world
- Let's discuss in detail. Delete
- Firstly the lifestyle Firstly, lifestyle
- has been evolved has evolved
- workability ability to work
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response identifies several reasons for stress, such as technology, competition, work pressure, and money, and it suggests planning, family time, and awareness programmes. However, ideas are repetitive, sometimes unclear, and not organised into a convincing answer to the two questions.
Choose two causes and two solutions only, then explain each one with a clear example instead of adding many loosely connected points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is written as one long paragraph, so the reader has to work hard to follow the argument. Linking words appear, but progression is weak because sentences repeat lifestyle, economy, opportunity, and stress without clear stages.
Use four paragraphs: introduction, causes, solutions, conclusion. Start each body paragraph with a sentence that states the main point.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic vocabulary, such as competitive world, economy, infrastructure sectors, and awareness program. Many word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including workability, on and off’s, and protocol to lead a normal life.
Use simpler but accurate vocabulary: workload, work-life balance, financial pressure, public awareness, and healthy routine.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors affect clarity, especially verb forms, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Some sentences are fragments or run-ons, and several meanings are difficult to recover.
Write shorter sentences with one main verb, then check every subject for agreement with the verb.