The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

Same question Compare 3 different answers (Band 5–6.5)

Sample Response

In the modernised society advancement of technology has pertained new trends and it is being observed that various sources or modes of communication channel been evolved. Internet considered being one of the immense Innovative technologies. These avail people to connect with any part of the globe. The evolution of Internet makes each individual stay connected to their loved ones and also to socialise with different people from other parts of the world. These are more advantageous in day-to-day life and it had become one of the essences of human, which always stays connected rather isolated. Let's discuss the advantages of advancement in Internet technology and the impact which hooked the society. Firstly, the Internet is meant to be one of the important inventions where human ever evolved. Most argue that the internet is considered to be one of the main sources in today's world. This makes people collaborate each other not only officially, but also emotionally. To illustrate further, for official related tasks it makes associates share their ideas globally and prevail helping to be connected. With the use of Internet, an individual can stay connected with different cultures and with different people around the globe. Moreover, the internet has made life easier when compare historically. For example, in olden days, if any messages or information needs to be passed, the only mode was human; then evolved the post, telephone and now instance mode of connecting is through the internet. In addition to the above facts, it not only benefits officially, perhaps it stays connected emotionally. For instance, people who stay away from family and deputed outside the world can communicate with their family and chat video / audio based on the facility available through Internet. Alternatively, when compared to 10 years’ before trend, people can collaborate with same society and to a limited audience, but through Internet an individual can connect and socialise to any part of the Globe. These are one of the healthy ways of collaborating with different people around the globe. The impact has made enormous to communicate people and to learn different cultures and to understand the facts of each country. The Internet makes people create awareness of various globe threat diseases or any human illegal plans. For example, in recent days the globe threat disease Ebola which shaken the whole world, these has been reached various parts of the world and alert people to take immediate action to prevent the disease, this is believed to be with the help of Internet. People started posting alerts and preventive measures about the disease through social media through Internet. Alternatively, the Internet has numerous impacts which have been proven and obstructed the society. The internet is one of the deadliest sources which can affect one country's economy. There are various hacking and facts behind hackers that should be admitted. The human evils can be spread through the internet. In conclusion, socialising with people or not is individual's perspective. It resembles more of individual's characteristics rather than targeting the communication mode. The internet is one of the communication modes which facilitate to communicate globally in an efficient way rather than isolating with people. It is more of people's mindset than blaming on the technology. Most of the facts favour that the internet is most efficient way to socialise with people rather that impact.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Add verb and article Original: Internet considered being Suggested revision: The Internet is considered to be Why it matters: The sentence needs an article, a finite verb, and the infinitive form after considered.
  • 2. Use suitable wording Original: immense Innovative technologies Suggested revision: most significant innovative technologies Why it matters: Immense does not naturally describe the importance of a technology, and innovative should not be capitalised here.
  • 3. Fix reference and verb Original: These avail people Suggested revision: This enables people Why it matters: The singular technology requires this, and enable is the correct verb for making an action possible.
  • 4. Add definite article Original: The evolution of Internet Suggested revision: The evolution of the Internet Why it matters: Internet normally takes the definite article in this construction.
  • 5. Fix pronoun agreement Original: These are more advantageous Suggested revision: This is highly advantageous Why it matters: The pronoun must refer consistently to the singular development being discussed.
  • 6. Use present perfect Original: had Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The present perfect fits a change that began in the past and remains true now.
  • 7. Use natural noun phrase Original: essences of human Suggested revision: essentials of human life Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic and leaves human without the noun it modifies.
  • 8. Complete comparison form Original: rather isolated Suggested revision: rather than isolated Why it matters: Rather than is required to express the contrast between connected and isolated.
  • 9. Use natural plural Original: advancement in Internet technology Suggested revision: advances in internet technology Why it matters: Advances is the more natural noun when referring to multiple technological developments.
  • 10. Add required preposition Original: collaborate each other Suggested revision: collaborate with each other Why it matters: Collaborate requires with before the other participants.
  • 11. Use participle phrase Original: when compare historically Suggested revision: when compared with the past Why it matters: The passive participle compared is needed, and the comparison requires a clear reference point.
  • 12. Fix logical connector Original: perhaps it stays connected emotionally Suggested revision: it also keeps people emotionally connected Why it matters: Perhaps incorrectly signals uncertainty, while also links this second benefit to the first.

Suggested Rewrites

  • Internet considered being The Internet is considered to be
  • immense Innovative technologies most significant innovative technologies
  • These avail people This enables people
  • The evolution of Internet The evolution of the Internet
  • These are more advantageous This is highly advantageous
  • had has
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.0

The response offers several relevant ways the internet supports connection and ultimately presents a discernible view that isolation depends more on users than on the technology. However, it is repetitive, weakly organised, and frequently diverted into loosely relevant material about disease alerts, hacking, and national economies. Prioritise a balanced, paragraph-based argument that directly analyses both connection and social isolation, using shorter, grammatically controlled sentences.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

5.5
Scoring rule

A position is eventually clear and relevant benefits are discussed, but the isolation claim receives little direct analysis and several ideas drift from the task.

Next step

Develop one focused argument about online isolation and remove examples that do not directly answer the socialisation question.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.0
Scoring rule

Basic sequencing is visible, but the single unbroken paragraph, extensive repetition, and inaccurate linking weaken progression.

Next step

Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use each one to advance a single clearly connected claim.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.0
Scoring rule

The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices often make expression strained or unclear.

Next step

Prefer familiar, precise combinations such as 'communication methods' and 'instant communication' instead of ambitious but unsuitable wording.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.0
Scoring rule

Complex structures are attempted, yet frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb forms reduce clarity.

Next step

Build shorter complete sentences with explicit subjects and finite verbs, then check agreement and tense consistently.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?

Your response

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