The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Sample Response
In today's worldtoday’s modern world, with the development of technology, we are able to communicate with people around the globe. However, some people assert that this advanced technology will not benefit us, in return, it will cause harmful effects on the way people socialise. Thus, we will examine both sides of the argument before reaching a reasonable conclusion. Undoubtedly, people nowadays benefit fromget benefited due to the advancesadvancement in technology, for example, internet. It allows people to communicate with others more easily and convenientlymore easily and in a convenient manner. In the pastIn the past days, communicationthe way people used to communicate was far more troublesome and time-consuming than it is todaythan that in the present day. That is, people could only write letters or send telegrams to keep in touch with their friends or relatives who live in another part of the worldin the other part of the world. Today, the internetNevertheless, internet which is available these days provides an opportunity for people to stay connected with others through services such as Facebook and emailsocial media like Facebook or email. Not forgetting to mention that, it only takes about a second for delivery and receive by their friends or family. Therefore, it is apparent that the internet gives people worldwide an excellent opportunityinternet gives a golden chance to people worldwide to communicate with others which was impossible in previous decadeswhich is impossible to achieve during the past decades. On the other hand, there is always another side to the issueanother side of a coin. The internet is believed to have detrimental effectsdetrimental side effects on the ability of people to socialise. To begin, home internet accessinternet at home causes the inhabitants of a city to stay at home whenever they are free. This kind of habit will cause them to lose interpersonal skillsthe interpersonal skill which is crucial and should be mastered by every individual in their lives. They should, for instance, take part in youth or sports activities so that they can meet new friends and develop the socialising skill. If they do not learn how to communicate with others in face-to-face conversations, they are less likely to achieve success in their jobs which require the sophisticated communicating skills. Hence, it is clearly shown that people may eventually lose the ability to socialiseability of socialising if they overuse the internet. In conclusion, the internet brings numerous advantages and disadvantages to our lives. However, I believe that we should spend our time wisely on using the internet as it can be more beneficial provided we do not overuse it and we should learn to socialise face-to-face rather than bury their heads into the screens of electronic gadgets.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both claims by explaining the internet's speed and global reach alongside the risk that overuse weakens face-to-face interaction and interpersonal skills. Its strongest feature is the relevant, balanced development leading to a qualified conclusion that benefits depend on moderation. The main limitation is the absence of paragraphing and frequent awkward grammar and collocation; the priority is to structure the two sides separately and state the nuanced position clearly in the introduction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both statements are directly developed and the conclusion gives a clear qualified position, though the introduction postpones the writer's judgement.
State from the outset that the internet connects people effectively but can isolate them when overused, then support this precise position throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from global connection to social isolation and conclusion is logical, but the entire 406-word essay forms one paragraph and linking is often mechanical.
Use an introduction, one paragraph for connection benefits, one for isolation risks, and a concise evaluative conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate range for technology and social interaction, but frequent unnatural expressions and repeated terms reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as 'get benefited', 'golden chance', 'another side of a coin', and 'socialising skill' with direct academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, passive forms, agreement, pronouns, and clause boundaries reduce accuracy.
Use accurate forms such as 'people benefit from the internet', 'messages are delivered instantly', and 'rather than burying our heads in screens'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.