The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Sample Response
The development of technology has become faster and faster. The internet as one of the advanced technologies is believed by many people to make communication easier. Albeit, others think that the internet restricts people to socialise. In my point of view, I believe that the upsides of internet outstrip the downsides. Firstly, the internet allows people to get in touch with their families, friends, and relatives who live or stay in other countries. For instance, some Asian students choose to study abroad. By the internet existence, they are able to interact and communicate with their families, even if they are limited by many miles away from their home. They can know about their parents' condition and share information about themselves using some features that are provided by the internet such as Facebook, Instagram, Skype, etc. Secondly, by using the internet, people are able to share memories and information with people around the world. The internet makes communication easier, so people can recognise the conditions and situations in other countries. They can enrich their knowledge about world's issues and try to find solutions if it is needed. People do not have to go a certain country to find out what is happening there since the internet helps them to get anything. Moreover, the internet allows people to make new friends and acquaintances. Hence, they will socialise with other people from different circumstances. This would lead people to have a good relationship with the citizen of the world and acknowledge about their cultures. To sum up, I believe that the internet brings many benefits, mainly to allow people staying connected with each other no matter how far they are. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages that the internet brings along.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: faster and faster Suggested revision: increasingly rapid Why it matters: This phrase expresses accelerating development more precisely.
- 2. Fix the appositive Original: The internet as one of the advanced technologies Suggested revision: The internet, as an advanced technology, Why it matters: The descriptive phrase needs singular wording and commas to function as an appositive.
- 3. Use a sentence connector Original: Albeit Suggested revision: However Why it matters: Albeit cannot function independently as a sentence adverb here.
- 4. Fix verb complementation Original: restricts people to socialise Suggested revision: discourages people from socialising Why it matters: The replacement uses a verb pattern that correctly expresses reduced social interaction.
- 5. Correct the expression Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The standard expression begins with From rather than In.
- 6. Add the article Original: upsides of internet Suggested revision: advantages of the internet Why it matters: Internet requires the definite article in this general reference.
- 7. Use natural wording Original: By the internet existence Suggested revision: Through the internet Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to describe the means of communication.
- 8. Fix distance expression Original: even if they are limited by many miles away from their home Suggested revision: even though they are many miles away from home Why it matters: The revision removes the incorrect passive construction and uses the appropriate concessive link.
- 9. Clarify the meaning Original: parents' condition Suggested revision: parents' well-being Why it matters: Well-being more naturally describes how their parents are doing.
- 10. Use concise wording Original: some features that are provided by the internet Suggested revision: online services Why it matters: This concise phrase names the communication tools more directly.
- 11. Choose a natural collocation Original: memories Suggested revision: experiences Why it matters: Experiences is a more natural noun for information shared during communication.
- 12. Clarify the idea Original: recognise the conditions and situations in other countries Suggested revision: learn about conditions in other countries Why it matters: The revision removes the vague and unnatural pairing of recognise with conditions and situations.
Suggested Rewrites
- faster and faster increasingly rapid
- The internet as one of the advanced technologies The internet, as an advanced technology,
- Albeit However
- restricts people to socialise discourages people from socialising
- In From
- upsides of internet advantages of the internet
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear positive position and supports it with several relevant ways the internet can sustain or create relationships. Its main limitation is that it scarcely evaluates the claimed isolating effects, so the argument does not fully engage with both statements in the question. The highest-priority improvement is to address the isolation claim directly, using a developed counterargument or concession before reaffirming the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported with relevant benefits, but the internet's potential to cause isolation receives almost no direct evaluation.
Develop a paragraph that directly concedes or refutes the isolation claim before explaining why the benefits still outweigh it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognizable sequence, although the response is presented as one long block and relies heavily on basic sequencing markers.
Separate each main idea into a focused paragraph and use referencing and logical links within paragraphs instead of repeated ordinal markers.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as internet existence and acknowledge about their cultures with natural collocations, and check article and preposition patterns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, but recurring errors in articles, prepositions, fragments, and verb patterns weaken control.
Prioritize accurate clause construction and verb complementation, especially after words such as allow, help, and restrict.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.