The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Sample Response
It is a fact that internet technology has helped people in connecting with their relatives and friends without the boundaries of distance and cost, but many people think that the technology has made people become less socialized and more individualistic. To a certain extent, I would agree that the internet has negatively affected to people's social life, but if we use the technology in a wise and appropriate manner, it has a lot of positive functions. On the one hand, it is true that many people are having social life problems these days, due to the existence of internet and information technology. Almost everybody have their own mobile phone nowadays, and they can use it for browsing, chatting and online gaming. With all the attractive and entertaining applications, many people like to play around with their gadget for hours and abandon their social life. As a result, it has been reported that many families are having communication problems these days due to they have less time for an eye to eye contact with other family members. However, it can be clearly seen that the problem has risen due to the improper and indiscipline act of users themselves. If the internet is used in the right purpose and in the appropriate portion, it would bring many benefits for mankind. Firstly, internet technology has truly changed the way individuals and corporations interact and correspond. With electronic email and chatting facilities such as yahoo or google, people could communicate and connected with other people in a more efficient and effective way. Secondly, the internet could also be used to expand people's networking. Social media sites such as Facebook or twitter could be used to connect people from different areas, maintain friendships and even it could be used for online businesses as well. Therefore, it depends on of the users themselves on how wise they use it. In conclusion, although online technology has become a problem for some people's social life, others disagree about it. To a certain point, I do believe that internet could be a treat to our social life, but if people use it wisely and appropriately then I do believe that it has a lot of benefits for individuals and societies.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use bare infinitive Original: helped people in connecting Suggested revision: helped people connect Why it matters: The verb 'help' is followed naturally by the bare infinitive here.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: without the boundaries of distance and cost Suggested revision: regardless of distance or cost Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended absence of practical barriers more naturally.
- 3. Remove redundant verb Original: made people become Suggested revision: made people Why it matters: The causative structure needs 'made people' followed directly by the adjective phrase.
- 4. Remove wrong preposition Original: affected to people's social life Suggested revision: affected people's social lives Why it matters: 'Affect' takes a direct object, and the plural possessive subject calls for 'lives'.
- 5. Use concise adverbs Original: in a wise and appropriate manner Suggested revision: wisely and appropriately Why it matters: The adverbs convey the same meaning more directly.
- 6. Choose precise noun Original: positive functions Suggested revision: benefits Why it matters: 'Benefits' is the natural noun for positive effects of technology in this context.
- 7. Improve verb phrase Original: are having social life problems Suggested revision: are experiencing problems in their social lives Why it matters: The revised phrase uses a natural verb and the correct plural reference.
- 8. Clarify the cause Original: the existence of internet and information technology Suggested revision: the widespread use of the internet and information technology Why it matters: The problem is attributed to use of the technology rather than merely its existence.
- 9. Fix agreement Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The indefinite pronoun 'everybody' takes a singular verb.
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: gadget Suggested revision: gadgets Why it matters: The plural possessive determiner refers to the devices owned by many people.
- 11. Use clause connector Original: due to they have Suggested revision: because they have Why it matters: 'Because' correctly introduces a finite clause, whereas 'due to' requires a noun phrase.
- 12. Choose correct verb Original: has risen due to Suggested revision: has arisen from Why it matters: A problem 'arises from' a cause, while 'rises' usually describes upward movement.
Suggested Rewrites
- helped people in connecting helped people connect
- without the boundaries of distance and cost regardless of distance or cost
- made people become made people
- affected to people's social life affected people's social lives
- in a wise and appropriate manner wisely and appropriately
- positive functions benefits
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, balanced position and supports both the isolating and connecting effects of internet use with relevant explanations. Its main limitation is that several points remain general and the conclusion is slightly awkward, while frequent grammar and collocation errors reduce precision. Prioritise accurate sentence structures and natural word combinations, then sharpen the extent of agreement in the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both claims, maintains a qualified position, and develops relevant reasons for the negative and positive effects of internet use.
Make the degree of agreement more explicit in the conclusion and deepen the explanation of how responsible use offsets social isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognisable progression from negative effects to benefits, but the lack of clear paragraph breaks and some repetitive linking weaken cohesion.
Separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs, using fewer mechanical transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss technology and social behaviour, though recurring collocation and word-form errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as references to an appropriate portion of internet use with precise, natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but agreement, preposition, clause, and verb-form errors occur frequently.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and complete clause patterns, especially after linking expressions such as due to and with modal verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.