The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Sample Response
It is obvious that Information age brings speed to our life. Speed and easiness of the internet make it the most popular media in social affairs. “Social networks” concept has been redefined by the internet development.The internet connection type advocates are of the view that meanwhile, the internet links us together, it has not any side effect; I disagree with it. First of all, the internet connection methods such as social networks encourage people not to visit each other physically. Their users gradually prefer to use cheap and available internet connection to find their relevance and friends instead of visiting each other in the real world. This may lead to reducing kindness between people. For example, children may rather send a birthday congratulation email to his/her old parents instead of visiting and embracing them. They may even send their birthday gift using gift websites. Moreover, using this media for connecting to others, may addict their users. They overspend plenty of time in social networks, checking email, chatting, and etc. while they have necessary personal and professional works. They forget time behind their computers smart devices. Their performance had reduced in work; this may cause giving up their job. They also neglect their personal activities such as personal cares and doing house chores. To conclude, although it is undeniable that the internet brings enormous useful services for us, I hold the view that using it as media for connecting world people are damaging in the current manner. I hope we can use the internet better and improve our relations quality.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: Information age Suggested revision: The information age Why it matters: This established historical period requires the definite article.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural noun agrees with the collective reference to people.
- 3. Use singular medium Original: media Suggested revision: medium Why it matters: Medium is the singular noun needed after the singular phrase 'it the most popular'.
- 4. Repair noun phrase Original: “Social networks” concept Suggested revision: The concept of “social networks” Why it matters: The revised phrase uses a natural English noun structure and supplies the necessary article.
- 5. Improve word order Original: internet development Suggested revision: development of the internet Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the relationship between development and the internet more naturally.
- 6. Choose precise term Original: internet connection methods Suggested revision: means of online communication Why it matters: The revised phrase accurately describes social networks as communication channels rather than technical connection methods.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: cheap and available internet connection Suggested revision: cheap and readily available online communication Why it matters: Readily available is the natural collocation, and online communication matches the intended meaning.
- 8. Correct wrong word Original: find their relevance and friends Suggested revision: contact their relatives and friends Why it matters: Relevance does not refer to family members, while relatives conveys the intended meaning.
- 9. Use natural phrase Original: congratulation Suggested revision: greeting Why it matters: Birthday greeting is the conventional expression for this kind of message.
- 10. Fix pronoun agreement Original: his/her old parents Suggested revision: their elderly parents Why it matters: Their agrees with the plural subject children, and elderly is more precise for people.
- 11. Use singular medium Original: media Suggested revision: medium Why it matters: Media is plural, while the sentence refers to the internet as one medium.
- 12. Fix verb pattern Original: may addict their users Suggested revision: may make users addicted Why it matters: Addict is not naturally used with the medium as the agent in this structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- Information age The information age
- life lives
- media medium
- “Social networks” concept The concept of “social networks”
- internet development development of the internet
- internet connection methods means of online communication
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with two relevant consequences of online communication, including reduced face-to-face contact and neglect of responsibilities. Its main limitation is that ideas remain somewhat general and the language contains frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors, while the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation. Prioritise accurate sentence construction and natural collocations, and separate each main idea into a clearly developed paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and develops two relevant reasons with examples, although some claims remain general or insufficiently explained.
Explain the causal link between internet use and each claimed social consequence more precisely and support it with a fully developed example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from reduced physical contact to excessive online use, but the single-block presentation and some awkward referencing weaken organisation.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with one central idea developed clearly in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the main ideas and shows some range, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as unnatural noun combinations with standard collocations and check that each selected word carries the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, and sentence construction reduce control.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures, then proofread each complex sentence for articles, pronouns, and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.