The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Sample Response
The internet has become an essential part of our life and it is hard not to underestimate its influence in modern society. However, it is a very complicated question to answer about its positive and negative sides in terms of people’s reaction towards it. Nowadays it is particularly impossible to live without modern gadgets. New technologies are used in everyday life by millions of people around the world. Social relationships between us are getting easier with the help of mobiles and the internet. We may do everything online- buy things, do business, communicate with your friends, exchange your opinions with others. Even distant education in overseas countries is available on the internet. Everything you have to do is just to be connected to the global network. Apart from this, it opens wide fields for everyone who has ever used this helpful source of information and communication throughout the huge world. Social networks are getting more and more popular among young and middle-aged people, even elderly ones try to use this convenient means of communication. Nevertheless, the role of the internet in many negative aspects of our life is crucial. We are becoming more involved in the virtual world, without understanding all side effects of its usage.Children play violent and cruel games on the internet, sitting in front of a computer for hours. They don’t know another reality, but the virtual one. It really makes them internet addicted since their early years. Moreover, the number of crimes and suicides among teenagers has also grown dramatically. Violence, aggression, racial intolerance and lechery are altogether the dangerous companions of the modern World Wide Web. Despite all the statements about the global connection between people, owing to the internet, we can see that many of them are incapable of having a vivid communication with their relatives, neighbours and colleagues at work. A lot of families don’t spend their free time together anymore; they are separated by the internet from each other. In addition, many prefer to stay online the whole weekends and they really don’t care about surrounding reality. To sum up, I would like to say that the internet is just a part of our life, like many other things and there will always be a lot of different judgements and opinions upon it. Furthermore, only we can do it better or worse for ourselves and our society in whole. It is full of advantages and disadvantages, as well as everything in this world, but it’s up to us to stay connected with others or to be isolated in its diverse and extensive area.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove double negative Original: hard not to underestimate Suggested revision: hard to overestimate Why it matters: The original double negative reverses the intended claim about the internet's large influence.
- 2. Fix clause construction Original: a very complicated question to answer about Suggested revision: very complicated to assess Why it matters: This verb structure directly takes the positive and negative aspects as its object.
- 3. Use formal term Original: sides Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: 'Effects' is more precise and academic than the vague noun 'sides'.
- 4. Fix number and preposition Original: people’s reaction towards it Suggested revision: people's reactions to it Why it matters: The general plural noun takes 'reactions', followed by the preposition 'to'.
- 5. Correct intensifier Original: particularly Suggested revision: virtually Why it matters: 'Virtually' means almost completely and collocates naturally with 'impossible'.
- 6. Use natural possessive Original: Social relationships between us Suggested revision: Our social relationships Why it matters: The possessive form expresses relationships among people more naturally.
- 7. Use precise change phrase Original: are getting easier Suggested revision: are becoming easier to maintain Why it matters: Relationships themselves do not become easy; maintaining them does.
- 8. Use complete device term Original: mobiles and the internet Suggested revision: mobile phones and the internet Why it matters: 'Mobile phones' is the clearer formal noun phrase.
- 9. Introduce list correctly Original: everything online- Suggested revision: everything online: Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the list of online activities.
- 10. Keep pronouns consistent Original: your Suggested revision: our Why it matters: The first-person subject 'We' requires the matching possessive 'our'.
- 11. Match first-person subject Original: your Suggested revision: our Why it matters: The possessive must remain consistent with the sentence's subject 'We'.
- 12. Correct education term Original: distant Suggested revision: distance Why it matters: 'Distance education' is the established term for remote study.
Suggested Rewrites
- hard not to underestimate hard to overestimate
- a very complicated question to answer about very complicated to assess
- sides effects
- people’s reaction towards it people's reactions to it
- particularly virtually
- Social relationships between us Our social relationships
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay explores both connectivity and isolation through a broad range of relevant social examples, and its final position sensibly makes outcomes depend on users' choices. Its main limitation is weak visible paragraphing and some overgeneralised negative claims, while recurrent unnatural expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the positive and negative cases into separate paragraphs and qualify unsupported claims about crime and suicide.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the prompt are discussed with relevant examples, and the conclusion presents a qualified view, although the initial position is unclear and several negative claims are insufficiently supported.
State the degree of agreement in the introduction and explain more cautiously how internet use may contribute to isolation rather than asserting broad social consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion progresses from connection benefits to harms and a conclusion, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens organisation and some links are mechanical.
Use separate paragraphs for the connective benefits, the isolating effects, and the final evaluation, each with a focused topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of vocabulary about communication and online behaviour, though frequent unnatural combinations and imprecise choices limit control.
Use idiomatic forms such as 'distance education,' 'addicted to the internet,' and 'face-to-face communication'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences generally communicates the argument, but errors in articles, pronouns, prepositions, punctuation, and sentence boundaries recur.
Maintain consistent third-person reference and proofread sentence boundaries, articles, and prepositions in each longer sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.