minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
When it comes to parenthood, females always had a predominating role to their male counterparts. Some opine that both rub their shoulders as parents. This has been a topic, wrangling over many years. In my opinion, equality being the buzzword of the day, both parents play a vital role in raising their child irrespective of genders.
From the time of antiquity, both females and males were parted on their parenthood skills. The custom showcased women sitting back at home looking after children, while men were responsible for earnings. The people at that time believed that females were better in raising children than males. The male domineering society applauded and encouraged such irrational thinking. But now, people are coming out of such yokes of irrational thinking and henceforth a notable change in situation is being witnessed.
In the present day, where equality rules, there is less emphasis on gender differences in parenthood responsibilities. Considering a mediocre family, where both parents work, both share all household duties, there does not even arise a question of not sharing parenthood. An ideal exemplification would be my own case, where my wife and myself share responsibilities when it comes to raising our daughter. We switch duties according to our office schedules and no difference on gender exists ever. This would be the case of mass, where nuclear family prevails, with no room for gender inequality.
To conclude, I would like to mention that parenthood is not weighed on one’s gender rather it is measured on one's dedication and care. So no matter what gender you belong to, you should be assiduous and provide the best possible environment for your children to blossom. It becomes ideal when both parents compete out of caring in upbringing their child.
Vineeth V.
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IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct tense and noun Original: females always had Suggested revision: women have always had Why it matters: The present perfect connects the long-standing pattern to the present, and “women” is the natural noun here.
- 2. Fix role comparison Original: a predominating role to their male counterparts Suggested revision: a predominant role relative to men Why it matters: “Predominant” is the correct adjective, and “relative to” expresses the comparison clearly.
- 3. Replace misused idiom Original: both rub their shoulders as parents Suggested revision: both are equally capable as parents Why it matters: “Rub shoulders” means socialise with others and cannot express equal parenting ability.
- 4. Use natural debate phrase Original: a topic, wrangling over many years Suggested revision: a topic of debate for many years Why it matters: The original incorrectly makes the topic itself perform the action of wrangling.
- 5. Use general plural Original: child Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The plural is more appropriate for a general statement about parents and families.
- 6. Use fixed gender phrase Original: irrespective of genders Suggested revision: regardless of gender Why it matters: The idiomatic general expression uses the singular uncountable sense of “gender.”
- 7. Use concise time phrase Original: From the time of antiquity Suggested revision: Since antiquity Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same historical starting point more naturally.
- 8. Clarify historical distinction Original: were parted on their parenthood skills Suggested revision: were distinguished by their parenting roles Why it matters: “Parted on” is not a valid collocation for describing how parental roles were differentiated.
- 9. Use natural practice phrase Original: The custom showcased Suggested revision: Traditional practice involved Why it matters: A custom does not “showcase” behaviour; it involves or prescribes it.
- 10. Remove misleading phrasal verb Original: sitting back at home Suggested revision: staying at home Why it matters: “Sit back” implies relaxing or taking no action, which conflicts with caring for children.
- 11. Use income collocation Original: responsible for earnings Suggested revision: responsible for earning income Why it matters: The revision naturally expresses the responsibility to provide financially.
- 12. Correct ability preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Ability in an activity is expressed with “better at” followed by a gerund.
Suggested Rewrites
- females always had women have always had
- a predominating role to their male counterparts a predominant role relative to men
- both rub their shoulders as parents both are equally capable as parents
- a topic, wrangling over many years a topic of debate for many years
- child children
- irrespective of genders regardless of gender
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position that parenting ability depends on commitment rather than gender, and it develops this view through historical contrast and a relevant personal example. Its main weakness is the frequent use of strained or inaccurate expressions, which sometimes obscures otherwise sensible ideas, alongside several recurring grammatical errors. The priority is to replace ambitious but unsuitable wording with natural collocations and then proofread sentence structures for agreement, pronoun choice, and clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear viewpoint throughout and supports it with relevant discussion of changing family roles and shared parenting.
Extend the comparison by explaining more directly why caregiving effectiveness depends on individual qualities rather than gender.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through an introduction, historical context, a present-day example, and a consistent conclusion.
Tighten transitions within the body paragraphs so each supporting sentence develops the central claim without loosely attached generalisations.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common expressions over forced items such as rub their shoulders, mediocre family, and case of mass.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex structures, but errors in tense, pronouns, agreement, and clause construction occur regularly.
Edit each complex sentence for a complete main clause and check subject-verb agreement and pronoun forms before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.