The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the average age of the female who gave delivery to their first baby in the family in Australia in three different years.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that the highest number of women who gave delivery to their first children came under the age of 19 to 24, while some females over 40 had the least parturition in three years.
In detail, women under 19under 19 to 24 gave birth to their first baby at about 34% in 1966with shares at 33% in 1986, and this number plummeted to 20% after 20 years. ThereafterUnfortunately, this ratio declined to about 12%declined to nearly 10% in the final year. Following this, the highest number of women had come for parturition to first born at 60% and hits its peak in 1966. This figuresurprisingly this number fell toTook a nose dive at 35% in 1986 and then declinedcontinuously plunged to 29% in 2006. Moreovermoreover, in the category of 25 to 30, around 35% of women gave birth to their first childfemales born their first child in 1966 and this ratio gradually rose to 50%gradually inclined at 50% after 20 years but this value fell to approximately 38%plunged to approximately 30% in 2006.
Furthermore, in 1966, around 13% of women aged 30-34 gave birth to their first childin 1966 around 11% of women birthing their first child and this figure rose significantlythis number had significant changes and surged to more than 40% between ages 30 to 34 in 2006. Next, women aged 34-39 and over 40the age category 34 to 39 and over 40 women had their first childgot pregnant first time with shares at below 10% in 1966. Still, the percentage of women aged 34-39 giving birth for the first timewomen who came in 34 to 39 gave delivery for the first time increased to 30% after 40 years, but the figure for women over 40 remained low at about 5%those who were above 40 had any significant numbers in birthing.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response reports figures for every age group and captures several broad movements, especially declines among younger mothers and increases among older groups. However, the overview incorrectly identifies ages 19–24 as the largest group throughout, and imprecise category labels, inaccurate figures, and frequent awkward phrasing weaken both clarity and reliability. Prioritize an accurate overview of the shift toward older first-time mothers, then group and compare the age categories with simpler, controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses every age group and includes several valid trends, but its central overview is inaccurate and some categories and figures are misreported.
State that the peak shifted from ages 19–24 in 1966 to 25–30 in 1986 and 30–34 in 2006, then verify each percentage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs provide a broadly clear progression, although vague references and mechanical transitions sometimes obscure which age group is being discussed.
Organize the details into younger groups that declined and older groups that rose, naming each category whenever the comparison changes.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of trend language, but frequent word-choice and collocation errors make expressions such as gave delivery and females born their first child unnatural.
Prefer accurate, straightforward phrases such as women giving birth, first-time mothers, rose, fell, and accounted for.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, word forms, and clause construction reduce control.
Use shorter comparison sentences and check that each one has a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and complete age-group reference.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.