The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams.
Sample Response
The line graph shows monthly gold sales figuresamount in Dubai throughout the year 20022012. The sales amount is given in millions of Dirhamsmillion Dirhams for each month in 2002every month in 2012. A glance at the diagram reveals that in March sales were highestthe sale amount was highest and most monthly sales were between about 120 and 250 million Dirhamsaverage monthly sale of gold was between 100 and 200 million Dirhams. According to the line graph, gold sales weretotal sales of gold was 200 million Dirhams in January 2002 in Dubai and this amount rapidly increased in the next two months. In March, the sales amounted to 350 million Dirhamssales amounted 350 million Dirhams, the highest in the year after whichbut afterwards, the sales amount steadily declined untiltill July when the gold sale was recorded at just over 110 million Dirhams. August’s gold sale rose sharplywent abruptly higher, to over 200 millionover 200 million but it then dropped suddenly to 110 million again. Sales of gold climbed in the next month, October, but remainedOctober but remained almost stable for the rest of the year at around 170-180 million Dirhams. At the end of the year, Dubai gold sale was recorded at approximately 185 million Dirhams, almost the same asalmost same as it was in Januaryat the beginning of the year.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report selects the main movements clearly, including the March peak, the mid-year decline, the August rebound, and the stable closing months, while maintaining a broadly logical chronological flow. Its main weakness is factual precision, especially the incorrect year and several approximate monthly values. The highest-priority improvement is to verify every date and key figure against the graph, then present the overview and details in separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers the main trend, peak, decline, August rise, and late-year stability. However, it states the wrong year twice and gives a few approximate figures imprecisely.
Correct the year to 2002 throughout and tighten key values such as July and September at about 120 million Dirhams.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the year, but it is written as one long paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Use a short overview paragraph followed by a chronological detail paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for a line graph, with useful terms such as increased, declined, dropped, and stable, but some collocations are awkward.
Use "sales" as a plural noun and prefer "stood at" or "reached" for figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly understandable, but there are repeated article, agreement, and punctuation errors.
Check singular/plural agreement with "sales" and add commas around time phrases.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.