The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Sample Response
The bar chart depicts the number of prisoners in thousands for five different countriesin thousands, in five different countries, namely Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, the United States and Canada over the 50-year period beginning in 1930during a period of 50 years commencing from 1930.
Overall, the graph shows thatgives an impression that the incarceration rate in the USA and the UKUSA and UK escalated over time while in Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, the totals decreased overallit actually decreased.
As is evident in the presentation, Great Britain had the lowest number of prisonersimprisonment throughout the first 40 years, through 1970initial 40 years till 1980. Interestingly, Britain had witnessed a steady growth in figures, which started from around 30000 in the year 1930 and reached around 70000 in the year 1970. By contrast, the United States had the highest number of prisonersmaximum number of criminals throughout the entire span of years except in 1930except in the first decade, which is 1930. Moreover, in the year 1980, the United States recordedhad to imprison the highest prisoner totalhighest number of citizens in the entire period, which stood at about 135,000accounted for around 130000.
It is apparent from the graph that the number of prisoners in Canadacrime rate in Canada fell overall with some fluctuationshad fallen gradually and steadily, from 120,000 prisonersfrom 120000 people in 1930 to a significantly lower 90,000 prisonersa significantly less 90000 people in 1980. However, except for the years 1930 and 1980except for the years, 1930 and 1980, Australia had a considerably lower prisoner totalconsiderably less number of jailing and New Zealand was consistently positionedNew Zealand had always positioned among the top threeas the top three consistently just behind Canada and the United States.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview of the broad national trends and selects useful figures for Britain, the United States and Canada. Its strongest comparisons are generally accurate, but it wrongly implies that the United States led in every year except 1930, overlooking Canada's higher 1950 figure, and the final Australia–New Zealand description is unclear. Prioritise precise year-by-year comparisons at the main peaks and endpoints, using 'prisoner numbers' rather than crime-rate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several key trends are presented accurately, although the US ranking in 1950 is wrong and the Australia and New Zealand comparison lacks precision.
Note that Canada exceeded the US in 1930 and 1950, then compare the fluctuating Australian and New Zealand figures accurately at their endpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into a clear introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs, with logical movement between countries despite a slightly confused final comparison.
Group the rising countries together and the overall declining countries together so that every sentence supports the overview directly.
Lexical Resource
The report demonstrates a good range of trend and comparison vocabulary, but several noun choices and collocations misrepresent prisoner figures as crime rates or actions.
Use 'number of prisoners', 'imprisonment figure', 'recorded the highest total' and 'ranked third', avoiding 'crime rate', 'number of jailing' and 'had to imprison'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are generally controlled, though countability, tense choice and the construction of the final sentence contain noticeable errors.
Use simple past consistently for recorded figures and revise countable phrases such as 'a lower number of prisoners' and 'New Zealand ranked third'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.