The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.
Sample Response
The tableThe table data illustrates changes in the proportions of pupils attending four types of secondary schoolstudents' choices of secondary schools throughout a nine-year period beginning in 2000commencing from 2000.
Overall, it can be seen that voluntary-controlled schools and community schools were the most popular in 2000 and 2009, respectively.
To begin with, more than half of all pupilsthe total pupils went to voluntary-controlled schools in 2000. The figure regarding community schools was just 12 percent—equal12 percent - equal to that of specialist schools. At the same time, grammar schools accounted for just under one-quarter of pupilsrepresented just under one-fourth of students.
After five years, the proportion of learners attending community schools increased by 20 percentage pointsincreased by 20 percent and then rose furtherfurther surged to well over 50% in the year 2009. An opposite trend could be observed in the case of voluntary-controlled schools as the proportion felltheir figure dipped to 38% in 2005 and 20% in 2009.
Grammar and specialist schools also saw declines in attendance although these declines were less pronouncedbut it is less noticeable. The percentage of pupils in grammar schools dropped marginally as time went by, falling to 19 percent in 2005becoming 11 percent in 2005 and then 12 percentexactly 10 percent by the end of the given period. Meanwhile, the figure decreased slightly for specialist schoolsdecreased by half in specialist schools throughout the years, standing at 1012 percent in 2009.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The report is well organized, concise, and linguistically controlled, with a clear overview of the change from voluntary-controlled to community schools. However, the final paragraph seriously weakens factual accuracy by assigning the specialist-school figures to grammar schools and the grammar-school endpoint to specialist schools. The key improvement is to verify every series against the table so that accurate trend language is matched with the correct categories and values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main overall shift and the two dominant school types are accurately described, but the grammar- and specialist-school figures are transposed in the final paragraph.
Check each row carefully and report grammar schools as 24%, 19%, and 12%, and specialist schools as 12%, 11%, and 10%.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing, logical grouping, and well-managed linking produce an easy-to-follow progression from overview to detailed trends.
For even tighter cohesion, make the final paragraph's references explicitly name each school type before giving its figures.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective trend language such as surged, dipped, marginally, and standing at.
Refine occasional imprecision by using percentage points for absolute changes and avoiding broad wording such as students' choices when the table shows attendance proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, with only isolated lapses such as the singular reference in it is less noticeable.
Maintain agreement when referring to plural trends, for example by writing these declines were less noticeable.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.