The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008.
Sample Response
The two line graphs illustrate the percentage of trains from a particular companytrains, from a particular company, that were either cancelled or running late in October and November in 2008.
It is clear that the percentage of trains that were delayed or cancelled both fluctuated significantlyboth witnessed significant fluctuations over the period shown. Additionally, while the cancellation rate peaked in Octoberthe highest percentage of train trips were cancelled in October, the highest percentage of trains that were late occurred in November.
In the first week of October, about 20% of all trains did not run on time. This figure then rose to 30%rose slightly in the next week before dropping to about 5% in the last week of October. In contrast, about 55% of all trains were lateapproximately half of all trains were late during the second week in November, followed by a slight drop to 40% in the third week.
Starting at 1% in the first week of OctoberStarting at only 1% of total trains in the first week, the percentage of trains that were cancelled peaked at 7% in the second week of Octoberreached a peak of 7% in the second week, but later dropped back to the initial figure. This figure continued to fluctuateThere was an increasing fluctuation in this figure throughout the rest of the period, with about 4% of total trains being cancelled in the final week.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and accurately highlights the principal peaks and fluctuations in both measures, while its paragraphing and sentence control make the report easy to follow. The main limitation is selective detail: several intermediate weekly points are omitted and the later cancellation pattern is described vaguely. The highest-priority improvement is to group October and November comparisons more systematically and support each trend with precise figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and principal peaks are accurate, but several weekly values are omitted and the later cancellation movement lacks precise support.
Compare the October and November sequences explicitly and include representative figures for the intermediate points in both graphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically sequenced by measure, with clear paragraphing and cohesive progression from overview to supporting details.
Strengthen the internal organization of each detail paragraph by keeping October and November comparisons in a consistent sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a strong range of trend and comparison vocabulary, although phrases such as 'increasing fluctuation' are not fully precise.
Replace vague trend labels with exact descriptions of rises, falls, peaks, and returns to earlier levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple sentences are varied effectively, with consistently strong control and only minor awkwardness.
Polish agreement and clause structure in overview sentences so comparisons between the two percentages remain fully natural.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008.
Your response
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