You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter explain: - when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains - how long you will stay - how many students are in your group and what accommodation you will require
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have received your contact details from a friendone of my friends who has recently used your servicesavailed of your service. He spoke very highly of your hospitalitywas very positive regarding your hospitality and recommended your hostel in the Snowy Mountainshostel situated in the Snowy Mountains for a study excursion we are planning to take at the beginning of next monthat the beginning of the next month. I hope you can arrangeI am hoping you would arrange suitable accommodation for the group and help make our trip enjoyablehelp us enjoy the tour. I am arranging a four-day tripa four days trip to the Snowy Mountains for 14 students from a public school in PerthPerth public school. We will arrive on the morning of 3 Aprilon 3rd April, in the morning; however, we will go sightseeing immediatelywould directly go sightseeing. Thus, we would check in to the hostel in the evening. A group of 15 students and I would require suitable accommodation for four days. We would prefer four rooms and we do not mind sharing the rooms. As we are travelling from Perth, I am confident that the weather may be freezingthe place might freeze us. We would appreciate it if we could haveif we can get extra blankets along with room heaters because of the cold weatherconsidering the extreme cold weather. My friend has mentioned that breakfast is included in the package. However, it would be nice if you could let me know the totalrevised price including dinnerincluding the dinner as well. I expect room availability and price details to be shared via mail soon. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Naaz Loan
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly establishes its purpose, uses an appropriately formal tone, and supplies practical details about dates, rooms, and additional needs. Its main weakness is a confusing inconsistency in the group size, which directly affects a required detail, while several awkward phrases reduce polish. The highest priority is to state one unambiguous total number of travellers and proofread collocations and noun forms more carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and all three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, but the conflicting figures of 14, 15, and an additional writer make the group size unclear.
State one consistent total number of students and clarify whether the writer is included in that figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses sensibly from the trip plan to accommodation needs and pricing, though presenting the entire body as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Divide the body into focused paragraphs for travel details, accommodation requirements, and the final pricing request.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a good range of formal and topic-specific vocabulary, although expressions such as the place might freeze us and revised price are imprecise or awkward.
Choose more natural collocations, such as very cold conditions and total price including dinner, while retaining the formal register.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional errors such as a four days trip and inconsistent modal choices.
Proofread noun phrases and conditional request forms, using a four-day trip and could provide for greater accuracy.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter explain:
- when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains
- how long you will stay
- how many students are in your group and what accommodation you will require
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.