Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
Each person has one or moremany role models in his or her life. They prefer to imitate the styleimitate style, waymethod of life and skills from their role models. Professional athletes are also good role models for the people who prefer to watch sports or engage in similar sports activitiesactivity. People who have good athletic skillsPeople, who have good athletic skills, showcase their talents. They will accept both success and failure in the same manner. This is a very good lesson learnt from professional athletes. People who think of athletes as their role modelsthink athletes as their role model, they will try to imitate that behaviour in their life.
Athletes playAthletes are playing a major role in influencing others' livesinfluencing in other’s life. The example of attending to practice, time management, continuous practice, self-confidence and many more behaviours are learnt by many young peoplemany youngers. This influences both male and female youngsters.This is influencing in both male and female youngsters.
At the same time, professional athletes are not the only group of people who act as good role modelspeople act as good role models. Good artists, good social workers, teachers, medical staff, government servants also act as good role models in young people's livesyoungers’ life. According to the preferences of youngers, role models also differ. For example, if young people like to watchSuch as Youngers like to watch more films than sports, then, an actor or actress would be a role model for them. If they prefer to involve in social service, previous leaders on social service would be their role models, examples of Mother Theresa. Likewise, role models are not only from the field of athletes but also from vast numbers of other fields.
Anyhow, as per my own opinion, I agree that professional athletes can be good role models, but only when they show discipline and responsible behaviour.I agree with the statement, ‘
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers relevant examples of how athletes can model discipline and acceptance of success or failure, and it also recognises that young people may admire figures in other fields. However, repetition, frequent language errors, and the abruptly unfinished conclusion leave the required opinion unclear. The highest priority is to complete a direct, fully stated position and organise the supporting reasons around it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses athletes and other role models, but the final position is incomplete, so the opinion required by the task is not fully delivered.
Finish the conclusion with a clear opinion and explain whether athletes are generally good role models, good only in some respects, or not reliable models.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is some paragraphing and progression, but ideas are repetitive and the essay ends abruptly, damaging overall coherence.
Use one paragraph for why athletes can be good models, one for limits, and a complete final sentence that answers the question.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is understandable but repetitive, with frequent incorrect word forms such as youngers and role model usage.
Use natural phrases such as young people, set an example, discipline, perseverance, and public behaviour.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors are frequent in sentence structure, articles, prepositions, and agreement, though the main message is usually understandable.
Check each sentence for a subject, a finite verb, and correct plural forms before adding more complex language.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.