In your opinion, why is the circus still a popular form of entertainment in the modern electronic age?
Sample Response
In spite of our living in an electronic age that offersoffer many modern devices like TVs, tablets, laptops, washing machines, and the internet, welaptops, washing machines, the internet we still follow some old forms of entertainmentsome old way entertainment like the circus. Circuses are still knownstill are known all over the world and clowns, jugglers, and trained animalsthe clowns, jugglers or trained animals entertain people to a great extent. Furthermore, the circus is an interesting form of entertainmentpart of the entertainment for a minority of people in many areas of the world.
These days, technology has become very popular and almost everyonealmost every human has at least one technological device. In addition, engineers developdiscover new products very frequently and it does not take too much time for these devices to become known all over the world. Therefore, these devices comprise a large proportiona big portion of people's entertainment, in particular, for young peoplefor youths. And that is why circuses are very dull for them. In spite of this fact, it is evident that children are very interested in circuses and we cannot understand howconceive at how they are entertained by these shows. In addition, clowns' interesting actions and jugglers' tricky gamesjugglers tricky games are still a predominant partstill predominant part of entertainment thatwhich amuses people, especially children. And it is undeniable that trained animals such as lions provide most of the amusementconstitute the majority of amusement. Their perilous actions are prime examplesthe prime example of the circus entertainmentcircus' entertainment. Although only a minority of people are interested in the circusIn spite of the minority of people are interested in the circus, it is still a well-known form of entertainment and it is a factit is fact that circus's historycircus' history can be traced to the Roman Empire.
To sum up, despite the fact that majority of people aremajority people is not interested in the circus and I am sure that there are people who do not bother to attendthere are ones who didn't bother to come to the circus, circus still keeps its popularity around the world.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a recognizable focus on why circuses retain an audience and offers relevant attractions such as clowns, jugglers, animals, and children's interest. However, the explanation is repetitive and partly contradictory about whether the circus is popular, while frequent awkward grammar reduces precision; the highest-priority improvement is to establish a consistent answer and develop two distinct reasons with clear supporting explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question and identifies several attractions, but its reasons are repetitive, lightly developed, and weakened by contradictory claims about popularity.
State a consistent central answer and develop two clearly different reasons explaining why live circus entertainment remains appealing in an electronic age.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic introduction-body-conclusion structure, but the long central paragraph and repetitive linking produce uneven progression.
Divide the body into focused reason-based paragraphs and use connectors to show logical relationships rather than repeatedly adding similar points.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range in discussing technology and entertainment, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use simpler, natural combinations such as traditional entertainment, skilled performances, and attracts a minority audience, checking each phrase for idiomatic accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, possessives, and clause structure persist throughout.
Prioritize accurate sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement before adding complex clauses, then proofread articles and plural noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In your opinion, why is the circus still a popular form of entertainment in the modern electronic age?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.