By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
In recent yearsIn the recent years, there has been a sharpvast increase in the number of people committing murdermanslaughter. It is a widespread belief that people who commit murders should only be punished with the death penaltypunished by death penalty. However, some people are of the opinion that the death penalty should be abolisheddeath penalty should be eradicated and life imprisonment should replace itlife in prison should assume its place. Regarding the statementApropos of the statement, I am in part accordance with it. It is inarguable that when someone commits an act of murdermanslaughter, that personthe said person must be punished appropriatelyat all costs. However, I believe the death penalty is not a permanent solution because by condemning murderers to death, society is also participating in killingtaking part in murders. Despite the well-known sayingsaying that goes "an eye for an eye", punishing someone for a murder by another act of killingwith another murder charge is notno justifiable by any means. ConverselyOn the flip side, I also believe that prison does not serve as an appropriate solution as it is an overly lenient punishmenttoo lenient a punishment for murderers. Furthermore, when murderers are put in the same cells, studies show that it gives rise to more crimes, as they are likely to plot another murder together. Also taking into account that in this developing country, society is most certainly not going to employ people with the background of having been locked in a prison, people who commit murders will most likely commit other crimes owing to the unpalatable fact that they need money to survive in this world. As such, I believe a more appropriate solution wouldwill be for the government to utilise prison as a means of learning and honing skills which could be useful for life after prison. It goes without saying that murderers should without a doubt take responsibility for their crimes, and I believe that can be done by giving them some form of voluntary worksome sort of voluntary works as part of a life sentenceas a lifetime punishment. To sum up, punishing murderersmurders with the death penalty is unjustifiable and life in prison might not serve as a permanent solution. Instead, the government should make prison a place to repent and a means of learning new skills for murderers that could be useful for life after prison.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay’s strongest feature is its nuanced evaluation: it rejects execution but also argues that imprisonment should incorporate rehabilitation and continuing responsibility rather than mere confinement. Its main limitation is that several claims about prisoners plotting crimes and reoffending through unemployment are speculative, and the single-paragraph presentation obscures the reasoning. Prioritise organising the argument into focused paragraphs and explaining more convincingly how rehabilitation answers the punishment question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both punishments, maintains a qualified position, and proposes a relevant alternative model, though some supporting claims are insufficiently substantiated.
Explain why rehabilitative life imprisonment is both proportionate to murder and preferable to execution, using one credible causal argument rather than several speculative assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves recognisably from opposition to execution through criticism of prison to rehabilitation, but one long paragraph and repeated contrast markers weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, case against execution, evaluation of imprisonment, rehabilitation proposal, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is broad and sometimes effective, but several ambitious expressions and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Replace phrases such as “in part accordance,” “another murder charge,” and “voluntary works” with “partly agree,” “another act of killing,” and “community service.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures conveys the argument, although recurring errors in articles, word forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.
Review article use with “the death penalty” and “prison,” and divide the long sentence beginning “Also taking into account” into controlled clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.