Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is perceived by most countries that by developing their economy, the living standard of their people could be improved, but there are those who believe that economic growth could result in a loss of social valuesloss of social values. It is certainly true that countries with developed economies have improved their people's lives because of their highadvanced standard of public services such as health and education. Improved health care can improve the quality of life bythrough treating diseases and increasing people's life expectancy. Also, increased educational standards can give the population a broader range of skillsgreater diversity of skills and literacy. This enables greater opportunitiesopportunity and freedom. In my viewknowledge, I have learned that education is seen as an important source of well-beingdevelopment of welfare and happiness. However, while we can obviously see the benefits of a developed economy, there are other people who perceive that this could lead to the loss of social valueslead to losing of social values. One possible consequence is thatIt means that with higher economic growth, this may result in longer hours of work. Then working parents would not have enough quality time to spend with their children. Hence, children will tend to imitate peers who are a bad influenceemulate their bad influence peers and eventually become involved in antisocial activityinvolve to an antisocial activity or juvenile delinquency, for instance, the unguided young teenagers, mainly young people who lack parental guidanceAfrican and Caribbean Americans in New York City in the 20th century. In conclusion, I certainly believe that through developing the national economydeveloping national economy, it will give people a better quality of life. Although it could affect families negatively, this would be a comparatively limited impactjust a little impact compared to the many benefits it could bring to societygive to its society in terms of health and educational services.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay answers the question with a clear view that economic development brings greater benefits, supported by relevant discussion of health, education, working hours, and family life. Development is uneven, however: the social-cost example becomes overgeneralised and some claims are weakly connected. Strengthen the comparison by explaining why the public-service gains outweigh the identified social harm, while correcting persistent collocation and sentence-structure errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and relevant benefits and drawback are presented, but the weighing of the two sides is brief and one example is questionable.
Compare the scale and likelihood of each effect explicitly before reaffirming the judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically overall, though some sentences link loosely and the two sides are not cleanly separated.
Use distinct body paragraphs for benefits and costs, each ending with an evaluative link to the question.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but inaccurate collocations recur.
Use natural phrases such as loss of values, broader range of skills, and become involved in antisocial behaviour.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear despite frequent article, preposition, and clause-control errors.
Check articles and avoid dangling or unclear subjects in complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think the social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.