Some believe education money should be spent on better computers while others think it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Unfortunately, education plays a crucial role in getting experience in various fields. Although some people consider that amount of money should consume on computers instead of teachers; however, demographics think that it has numerous grave repercussions; it spends on teaching professions. I will elucidate both aspects along with my perspective in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, advanced computers have enormous benefits in the high-tech era. The predominant one is the time-saving mode, the cheapest and most convenient. To elaborate on it, individuals can use them at any timeuse it any time, reducing transport and study costsinflation. It is more convenient for them than conventional learning methodsas compared to conventional techniques. Moreover, they cancould access up-to-date knowledge for their studiesknowledge related to studying not only at homeat home nor only, but also learnersmortals could also develop study skills independentlywould independently learn study skills. For example, 70 % of learners get experience related to education from websites in the twenty-first century which proves beneficialwhich proved fruitful for them. Hence, money allocated for the development of computers would lead to independent learningan independent way of learning skills and staying more focused.
Turning to the other viewTo strengthen the views, teachers who teach schoolchildrenteachers who teach to schoolers using varied theoretical and practical methodsin alternative ways thematically and practically according to their needs and weaknessesaccording to needs and weaknesses. To explain it, the human brain has the ability to understand different teaching methodscapability to teach various teaching categories while the machine does not understand as learners feel comfortableleaders feel comfort during training and learning to cooperate and tackle study difficultiesteaching training and learning related to cooperation and tackling difficulties regarding the study. To cite an example, eight out of ten8%out10% of students prefer a conventional teaching style due to better results and feeling better physically and mentally after getting expected outcomes. Therefore, the bonds between teachers and studentsteachers’ and students’ bonds will strengthen in education. Furthermore, this tendency is beneficial for health.
To conclude, although computers are more suitable for learning, experts who teach students by their own experience have many advantages that outweigh the screen. In addition, I considered that people would disburse a chunk of money to teachers who provide education with different techniques.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers both spending options, states a preference for teachers, and uses a clear paragraph structure. Its main weakness is that ambitious wording and faulty sentence construction frequently obscure the intended reasoning, while several supporting claims remain vague or implausible. The highest-priority improvement is to select one concrete educational benefit for each option and explain it in direct, accurately formed sentences with credible examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed with a clear preference, though several ideas and examples are insufficiently explained.
Support each spending choice with a specific causal explanation and a credible example directly tied to learning outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical overall structure, but unclear internal links and sentence-level sequencing disrupt progression.
Organise each body paragraph as a clear claim, explanation, example, and concluding link to the funding decision.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices and collocations often distort meaning.
Prefer precise common academic words and verify expressions such as study inflation, teaching categories, and outweigh the screen.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple meaning is often recoverable, but frequent errors in clause construction, articles, agreement, and punctuation reduce clarity.
Control one main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical relationship is clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some believe education money should be spent on better computers while others think it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.