Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
During the last century, people did not even take the time to ask this question to themselves whether educational institutes should enrol an equal number of male and female students? Firstly most of female studentsthe female students stopped going to school much earlier than they do today. SecondlyAnd secondly, female and male students werefemale and male were separated in class in their early childhood. Besides, men and womenmale as female used to respect the moralsmoral and customs of their period. They were much more sensitive about what society might thinkwhat could the society think about them. Indeed, it was unusual to see a woman studying medicinetaking up medical studies.
Despite the evolution of our society and the growing empowerment of womengrowing women’s power some universities or long-established institutionsancient institutions still tend to dismiss candidates’ applications solely on the basis of genderfor unique gender reasons.
A university is always trying to attract the best students within its walls. If an institution rejectedwas led to neglect some applications from brilliant students simply to maintain equal numbers of male and female studentsonly to respect this equal number of male and female, I would say one thing: this kind of recruitment is not fair. Some of the studentsA part of the students dismissed by the university might be more deservingthe more deserving of a place based on their qualificationswhen we first glance at their proficiencies than other students accepted only because of this policythanks to this new law in favour of equality between men and womenthe equality between men and women. By proceeding in this wayBy proceeding this way a university can lose many talented future studentsmany of future talented students who might bring fame to the university in return by becoming someone well-known. However, if a university has the same percentage of men and women with the same level of qualifications, in this case, they must be led to choose their future students according to this kind of criterioncriteria.
To conclude and in my opinion universities should not accept their future students owing to an equal percentage of female and male but by analysing carefully the students' competencies.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear, consistent merit-based position and develops its central fairness argument with a useful qualification for equally qualified candidates. However, the lengthy historical opening is only loosely connected to the question, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise a more direct introduction, add a concrete supporting example, and edit sentence structures and collocations for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position against fixed gender quotas is clear and relevant, but the historical opening is tangential and the main argument lacks a concrete example.
Replace the broad historical background with direct reasoning and develop the fairness argument through a specific university-admissions example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from context to argument and conclusion, though the introduction is diffuse and the main body paragraph carries too many ideas.
Use one focused introduction and divide the central discussion into separate paragraphs for the main objection and the qualification.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several collocations and word choices, such as references to gender reasons and student proficiencies, sound unnatural.
Use precise admissions vocabulary and check collocations so that ambitious word choices express the intended meaning naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, word order, and clause construction weaken control.
Edit each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and natural clause order, especially in the introduction and long body paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.