To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Sample Response
At first, it is significant to understand what is environment hazards and why they are escalatingwhy is it escalating. EnvironmentalEnvironment hazards mean a decrease in the quality of the environment where we livewhere we are residing. Due to harmful gases such as CO 2, SO 2 emitted by industries, vehicles air is being polluted. The industries discharge harmful waste products into riversthrow harmful waste products in rivers which affect the flora and fauna. Not only are air and water pollutedNot only air and water are polluted, noise pollution has also surged. The same is trueSame is the circumstances for arable lands.
So, it is clear that environmental hazards have increased not only because of fuel combustionby combustion of fuel but otherothers factors are also responsible for it. I reckon increasing fuel price due to this reason is a foolish tacticis foolish tactics. According to the given assumption, increasing the price of fuel means making fuel unaffordable for ordinary peoplemeans not to make price common people friendly. If this manoeuvre of concern authority then they will come under fire subsequently and they cannot run the state. Transportation is a boon in the 21 st century. We cannot imagine visiting our destination on foot as we cannot afford the cost of fuel. Fuel is essential not only forto transport, it is required in every walk of lifeit is required every walk of life. For instance,For instances: cooking food, running industries etc. requires fuels.
Obviously, the poor either protest against the price or rob from those people who have purchasing power. It means unrest starts in the country. When it peaks some people lose their livessome people loses their life and government is compelled to suspend the price increase. It is vivid that increasing price of fuel is not a solution to control environment hazards rather, it is an unwise strategyrather it unwise strategy. Increasing awareness, banning dependence on old vehiclesold vehicles dependency or introducing the renewable source of energy are some inevitable solutionssolution to environmental hazards.
In conclusion, the price of the fuel should not be increased rather others alternative should be deduced. Environment hazards are the common problems of people of every walk of life so, we should solve it moving ahead shoulder to shoulder.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear opposition to raising fuel prices and supports it with relevant points about other pollution sources, affordability, social consequences, and alternative measures. However, several claims are exaggerated or only briefly asserted, and persistent grammatical and lexical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to replace speculative consequences with a balanced explanation of why broader policies would address pollution more effectively than a fuel-price increase.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is sustained and supported by several relevant reasons and alternatives, but development is uneven and some social consequences are implausibly overstated.
Compare the likely effect of higher fuel prices with one or two alternative policies using realistic, fully explained consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided into purposeful paragraphs and follows a broadly logical argument, though some links are abrupt and individual paragraphs contain loosely connected points.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and order its supporting sentences from cause to consequence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for environmental and policy issues, but frequent errors in collocation, word form, and register undermine precision.
Prefer accurate combinations such as environmental hazards, governing authority, renewable energy sources, and viable alternatives over forced idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent agreement, article, plural, word-order, and missing-verb errors reduce accuracy and occasionally impede meaning.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and completeness, especially after adding subordinate clauses or paired structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.