Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
Sample Response
The damage of tobacco has become widely knownhas almost known clearly through the media and the internetthrough media, and internet. It pollutes the environment and causes serious health problemscarious serious healthy for both smokers and non-smokersfor not only smokers but also non-smokers. It is also a sad fact that one in fivea sad fact one in five teenagers take up the habit when they are as young as 11. Unfortunately, there is one interest group, the tobacco business, which is more than happy with our addiction to cigarettes, which generate substantial profits for itcigarettes which bring many profits for them. Date to date, researchers and organizations who usually give evidence damage of tobacco, which noticed that have linking between smoking and cancer, heart disease and other serious illnesses, and especially for non-smokers who called with a name on passive-smoking. One particular example of this isOne particular example for this situation: the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) releasedrelease a long-awaited report on passive smoking; it concluded thatsmoking, they resulted that Passive smoking causes 3000 deaths a year from lung cancer in the US alone. Moreover, smoking is an expensive habit, it represents a huge costits representative huge cost for society. Government and individual have to paid for buying cigarette and treating smoking-diseases, this money may be used for better purposes such as: paying for adapt climate change methods research, helping to feed the world’s poor people. However, following give-up smokers quantity statistics in many years, they resulted that is not decrease much lower than our expectance and especially, almost people in 11-19 years old who cannot give up. The obvious answer is that cigarettes are highly addictive, so it is extremely difficultso that it extremely difficult to live without them. I also absolutely agree with the Vietnamese governmentVietnam government on increasing tobacco taxestobacco’s tax, banning cigarette advertising, prohibiting smokingforbidding smoke in public areasarea, organizing damage of tobacco communications. If people want to quit smokingsmoke, they need to have patience, determination and their family’s support and encouragement. We live on modern society with many new dangerous ills and serious pollution environment. Solving the damage of tobacco is not only the responsibility of the governmentresponsible of government but also individual. These actions bring fresh and bright home for our children’s children.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies several valid reasons for concern and proposes both government and individual action, so both parts of the task are recognisable. Its main limitation is pervasive grammatical and word-choice error, compounded by a single unstructured paragraph, which repeatedly makes relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The priority is to organise the two answers into separate paragraphs and express each point in shorter, accurately formed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed through health, social-cost, policy, and personal-support ideas, although several points are unclear or insufficiently explained.
Select two main concerns and two solutions, then develop each with a clear explanation of how it affects smoking rates or society.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a broadly traceable movement from harms to addiction and solutions, but the single paragraph and faulty linking weaken progression substantially.
Use an introduction, separate concern and solution paragraphs, and a conclusion, with one controlling idea in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors often reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate common phrases such as 'health risks', 'the cost to society', and 'quit smoking' before attempting less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple and complex meanings are communicated, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms cause regular difficulty.
Build shorter sentences around clear subject-verb patterns, then check every verb tense, agreement ending, and article systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.