Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Developing countries have great potential to accelerate their progress, and they want to accelerate this progressthey want to achieve it faster, even if it means that they need to shift their economic focus. Although not everyone accepts thatThough it is not accepted by all that a country can develop if it focuses on expanding industries rather than agriculture, I personally believe that a developing country like Bangladesh should have a well-conceived industrialisation strategy like those of Japan, China or Hong Kongstrategy like Japan, China or Hong Kong to become a developed country.
Agriculture, undeniably, is an important sector for a country like Bangladesh where more than 70% of people rely on it. However, agriculture alone cannot make a country an advanced nationenlist a country as an advanced nation in this modern era. The Industrial Revolution has taught us that manual labour and agricultural products cannot improve alonecannot singly improve the economic condition of a nation, and a country must have an export-oriented industry or a major industrial hubor great industrial hub to progress quickly. For instance, a poor country has to export several hundred tonnes of graingrains to import only a few piecesnumbers of modern machinery. This disparity will continue to growkeep on enhancing if the nation cannot become industrially self-sufficientindustrially sufficient. Asian economies haveAsian economy has already shifted from farming and fishing to industrialisation and no developing country can progress furthercan further progress without following the same pathpathway, as research suggestsas the research suggests. While agricultural development should not be ignored, especially in countries like Bangladesh, industrialisation should receive higher priorityget more priority. Diversifying agricultural products and export marketsDiversifying agricultural products and exports is a major strengthis a great power for an agricultural-based country, but this takes a long time to produce substantial developmenttakes a long way to reach the top, and given rapid global industrial expansionwith the revolution and rapid expansion of the industrial world, agriculture-led development has become more challengingthis has become quite challenging. To conclude, an agriculture-dependent country like Bangladesh should try to diversify its agricultural sector to become self-sufficient in its food supply but must have a long-term industrial strategy to progress and become a developed nation.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear, nuanced position that industrial development should take priority while agriculture remains important, and it supports this with a sustained economic argument. Its main limitation is repeated awkward or imprecise phrasing, alongside an overextended body paragraph that blurs the progression between points. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the reasoning into distinct stages and replace broad claims with more precise, well-supported comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent qualified agreement and develops relevant economic reasons in support.
Strengthen the argument by supporting broad claims about Asian development with a precise example or clearly explained evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The position and reasoning progress logically overall, but the very long central paragraph compresses several distinct ideas together.
Separate the trade argument, regional development claim, and agricultural qualification into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, though recurrent awkward collocations and imprecise expressions limit control.
Replace phrases such as “enlist a country,” “a few numbers of machinery,” and “get more priority” with natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional article, agreement, and construction errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread noun phrases and relative clauses carefully, especially singular-plural agreement and article use in generalisations.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Developing countries like Bangladesh should concentrate more on industrial development, instead of agriculture, to achieve better development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.