More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? How is it affecting family life and the society as a whole? Use relevant examples to support your view.
Sample Response
In this highly competitive world, people have been spending a significant amount of time at their workplaces. It is true that most of the working people have little time for social and family lifedo not have social and family lives because of their hectic lifestylesdue to their hectic life. In this essay, I would like to discuss various aspects of the topic and explain the main causes and effectstry to reach a conclusion according to my perspective.
To commence with, in this globalised world, most companies and their workers facemost of the companies and their workers have to face an international competition in the market which makes their work harder and tougher. To make it clear, it is evident that most of the international firms are technologically advanced and innovativetechnologically and ideally advanced so it has become necessary to work overtime with dedicationdedications to compete with those companies.
Furthermore, nowadays, daily family expenses have been risingdaily expenses of a family has been rising day-by-day, such as the money spent on groceries, fuelpetroleum and so on. In this context, it is hard for a man to run a family with a single job or regular working hours so they are forced to work more. More importantly, unemployment has resulted in minimising wages of most workersmost of the works. To exemplify, in India, a nurse's monthly salary is 100 dollarsdollar, it is impossible for them to live with this small amount and that’s why the nurse needs to work extra hours and even onin days off to earn a bit more.
On the other hand, the foundationplatform of family life is interaction, socialisation and communication. When family members do not have enough time to interact with each otherinteract each other, a communication gap will formthere will form a communication gap among them and that ultimately affects family relationshipsthat ultimately affect family relation. Moreover, as most people in a society overworkas most of the people in a society over work and when they do not have sufficient time for interaction and exchange of ideas. It is evident that, unless the co-operation of society, there will not be an effective development in society.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response follows a broadly clear progression and offers relevant causes, including international competition and rising living costs, supported by a concrete example. However, the discussion of family and societal effects is less developed, frequent language errors reduce clarity, and the essay ends without a conclusion; the highest priority is to add a direct closing answer and explain one specific social consequence in a shorter, better-controlled paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses causes and some effects on family and society, but it does not include a conclusion and the effects section is less developed than the causes. Examples are relevant but need clearer explanation.
Add a final paragraph that directly answers both questions and develop the social effects with one concrete example, such as weaker community trust or reduced civic participation.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear sequence from introduction to causes to effects, but the essay ends abruptly. Some linking is repetitive and the final paragraph contains sentence fragments and unclear connections.
Use a balanced four-paragraph plan: introduction, causes, family effects, social effects plus conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The candidate uses relevant vocabulary about competition, expenses and communication, but collocation errors are frequent: "hectic life", "work overtime with dedications", "works" and "days off" need correction.
Practise common work-life vocabulary: "long working hours", "cost of living", "work-life balance", "family relationships" and "community development".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors with agreement, articles, plurals and sentence boundaries affect clarity. Complex sentences are attempted but are often not fully controlled.
Shorten sentences and check subject-verb agreement, especially after long introductory phrases and plural subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? How is it affecting family life and the society as a whole? Use relevant examples to support your view.
Your response
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